Deathly Serious

(I live with my sister and her fiancée, my future sister-in-law, and we are talking about their wedding, which isn’t scheduled for another year.)

Me: “Would you guys decide to get married any earlier?”

Sister: “Oh, h***, no. We would tear our hair out.”

Sister-In-Law: “We would die. Because I would murder [Sister].”

Me: “…You see, the problem with that is if you murder [Sister], I’ll murder you. And then your sister will murder me, and it’ll be an endless cycle of death.”

Sister: “Two houses, both alike in dignity…”

Me: “Only there aren’t any lovers. There’s just death.”