Death Of An Insurance Salesman

(I work for a very large insurance company. An angry client calls in with a thick foreign accent. Note that my trouble understanding her is making her aggravated.)

Client: “Why haven’t you paid me my insurance money?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m not really understanding the question. Could you clarify a little more for me?”

Client: “You must pay me the $100,000 for my insurance!”

Me: “Ma’am, you are the insured person on this policy. Who is it that has passed?”

Client: “No one passes! I need you to pay me my insurance.”

(This continues back and forth for five minutes.)

Me: “Ma’am, we can’t pay you the money from your life insurance policy for the same reason you cannot bury a man living in the USA in Canada.”

Client: “Why not?!”

Me: “Because you’re not dead.”