Death Of A Sales Pitch, Part 4

(It’s early in the morning before my college classes start. The phone rings as I am making my breakfast.)

Caller: “Hello. May I speak with Gloria?”

Me: *laughs* “Sure.”

(I proceed to hold the phone up to the mantle in our living room, where my grandmother’s ashes sit. I can hear him go off on his script, pause, and call ‘Ma’am?’ several times. I give him a break.)

Me: “Sir, my grandmother is dead. The only way you could possibly be unaware of that is if you’re selling something. My toast is done. I need to go.”

(I hung up on him and went back to my morning routine.)