Death Of A Sales Pitch, Part 3

(My grandfather had recently passed a couple of days before and I’m ringing up regarding one of his private pensions on the ‘notification of death’ specific line.)

Agent: “Hello. You’re through to [Agent] at [Company]. How may I help you?”

Me: “I need to check to see if a policy is still active, please.”

Agent: “Can we have the policy details, and are you the policyholder?”

Me: “No.”

(I give my grandfather’s details for them to pull up the details.)

Agent: “Is the policyholder there with you?”

Me: “No, he’s—”

Agent: *snooty tone* “Well, we can’t do anything without the policyholder being there. So you’ll need to put him on the phone or get him to call us.”

Me: “Do you have an Ouija board?”

Agent: “Pardon?”

Me: “This is the ‘notification of a death’ line, right? He died two days ago, so I don’t think you’ll be able to speak to him without one.”