Death Goes Shopping

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(We are having a big sale on lobsters and I’m standing behind an open case of them.)

Customer: “Are these alive?”

Me: “Yes ma’am, they’re all alive.”

(The customer picks one up that is moving and violently shakes it.)

Customer: “This one isn’t!”

Me: “That’s because you just killed it, ma’am.”

Customer: “How dare you accuse me of that!” *violently throws the lobster back into the case and storms off*

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