Death By Chocolate For Dessert

(My parents are visiting me at college, and they decide to take me out for dinner. My dad used to be a waiter himself, and whenever we go out he likes to poke fun at the wait staff – all in good humor.)

Host: *after seating us* “So, your server tonight will be [name], and she’ll be able to answer any questions you have, okay?”

(He goes away, and after a few minutes of small talk and menu browsing, the server does indeed come over.)

Server: “Hi there, can I take your drink orders now?”

Me: “I’ll have a Coke.”

Mom: “A Diet Coke for me.”

Dad: “Jack Daniels. Neat.”

Server: “Okay then, and is there anything else I can help you with?”

Dad: “Yeah actually, when am I gonna die?”

Server: *sputtering* “Wha- I don’t… what!?”

Dad: “Well the host said you’d be able to answer any questions I had!”