Dealing With Callers Is A Twinge Science

Me: “Morning. This is [My Name] from [Medical Clinic]. How can I help?”

Caller: “I was wondering if the pelvis ultrasound is bulk-billed?”

The caller is a man so I assume it is for his partner.

Me: “Okay. Are they pregnant?”

Caller: “No.”

He pauses and then speaks the rest over my answer.

Caller: “It’s looking for a cyst. For her pelvis.”

Me: “Lovely. So yes, it is bulk-billed.”

Silence.

Me: “Did you want to book?”

Caller: “Is it bulk-billed?”

Me: “Yes, it is. Like I said.”

I experience a minor twinge of annoyance, but I wave it off as my own issue and not their fault.

Caller: “Good, good. What do you have available?”

Me: “Earliest is Thursday.”

Today is Saturday.

Caller: “Do you have anything Monday?”

Twinge #2.

Me: “No. Earliest is Thursday.”

Caller: “Tuesday?”

Twinge #3.

Me: “That’s a public holiday.”

Caller: “Okay, okay. What times do you have?”

Me: “Morning, I have 9:00, 9:20, 9:40, 10:00, 10:20, 10:40, 11:00, 12:00, or 12:30. Afternoon, I have 1:30, 2:00, 2:30, 3:00, 3:30, or 4:00.”

Caller: “Can we have 11:30?”

Twinge #4.

Me: “Sorry, I didn’t offer that time. It is unavailable.”

I say this with a small laugh and sympathy.

Caller: “How about 10:30?”

Twinge #5. I excitedly offer:

Me: “10:40?”

Caller: “Yes. Ah. No. Can we have 4:00?”

Me: “Sure! Now, could you tell her please to drink one litre of water between 2:30 and 3:00, and not go to the bathroom?”

Caller: “So, we need to drink some water to come 3:30?”

TWINGE #6! Where did he get 3:30 from?

Me: *Customer service voice* “No. Please drink one litre. Between 2:30 and 3:00. Hold. And we’ll see you at 4:00 for the appointment.”

I breathed deeply when the call ended.