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The Lighter Side To Christmas

| WV, USA | Related | December 11, 2013

Mom: “I can’t believe they have all this Christmas merchandise out already!”

(We drive past the local hardware store and see their outdoor Christmas display in all its glory. A few minutes pass…)

Mom: “Pumpkins, American flags… It’s time to get the Christmas stuff out, people!”

Me: “Weren’t you just complaining about those other stores having their Christmas stuff out too early?”

Mom: *meekly* “That was before I saw those pretty lights.”

A Sign They Should Start Dating

| Leeds, England, UK | Romantic | December 11, 2013

(Every evening after work, I get the same bus home. I usually see the same young lady at the stop, and will share a smile and a nod as a greeting. As I’m fairly introverted, I rarely talk to people on the way home; I just listen to music on my wireless earbuds, which are hidden by my hair. One day, instead of the usual greeting, the young lady catches my eye and starts signing something at me. I reach up to pull out my earbuds.)

Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t read sign langu—”

Young Lady: *turning bright red* “Oh, my god! You’re not deaf! I’m such an idiot! I thought you were deaf because you never respond when I talk to you. So, I tried to learn some sign language so I could talk to you.”

(The young lady tails off to a mumble, getting redder and redder. I burst out laughing.)

Me: “Wow. I never thought I was worth learning sign language to talk to!”

Young Lady: “I’m so sorry. How can I possibly make it up to you?”

Me: “Well, you can accompany me for a drink for starters. I’d love to learn more about a girl who learned sign language for a boy who can’t read it!”

(After that encounter it wasn’t long before we started dating. Now she turns bright red as soon as anyone asks how we met!)

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The Missing Key To Most Relationships

| Ireland | Romantic | December 11, 2013

(I am typing and try to input a Euro symbol, usually Ctrl-Alt-4. It doesn’t work. Instead it somehow changes my keyboard format from Irish to US. My fiancé works in IT repair and tech support.)

Me: “[Fiancé’s Name]…”

Fiancé: “What?”

Me: “I somehow managed to change my keyboard to US format.”

Fiancé: “Click ‘start.’”

(He talks me through the change.)

Me: “Thank you.”

Fiancé: “What good am I to you if I can’t do tech support?”

Me: “And that’s why we can never really get divorced!”

Fiancé: “Because you don’t want to pay for support?”

Me: “Yep!”

Love By The Hour

| CA, USA | Romantic | December 11, 2013

(My boyfriend has problems admitting his true feelings. I am totally taken aback when he initiates the following exchange.)

Boyfriend: “If me getting up before noon doesn’t say, ‘I love you,’ nothing ever will.”

Me: *nonplussed* “Are you actually saying that, or are you being facetious?”

Boyfriend: “It was supposed to be funny.”

Me: “Okay. I was going to start looking for pods.”

Boyfriend: “But I really will rise before noon for you. So it’s factual.”

Me: “For what it’s worth, I’d get up before 9 am for you.”

Boyfriend: “Well, there we have it. You love me exactly three hours more than I love you.”

The Long(est) Kiss Goodnight

| Memphis, TN, USA | Romantic | December 11, 2013

(My girlfriend has just texted me a long list of things she wants me to pick up.)

Girlfriend: “Please get me those things and I will give you a million kisses.”

Me: “If you give me a million kisses, just pecks, you know that would take you like 11.5 days. Right?

Girlfriend: “So?”

Me: “Just saying. That’s a lot of time. Are you prepared for 11.5 days of kissing? I need an answer.”

Girlfriend: “Yes.”

Me: “Yay! I think I got a ‘Not Always Romantic!'”

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