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Was Not Performed In Chest

| Springfield, MO, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(I work in the lingerie department of a large department store. A man and his wife walk in. The wife goes to look at our clearance racks, while her husband comes up to me.)

Man: “What bra size do you think I am?”

(The man attempts to puff out his chest, which amounts to little as he is flat-chested. I’m kind of taken aback, but I go with it.)

Me: “I’m not sure.”

Man: “Well, you measure people, right? Measure me!”

Me: “Sir, I don’t know if that’s—”

Man: “Come on! Measure me!”

(I grab my measuring tape and ask him to hold his arms up. He kind of dances around a bit, but I ignore him. I go to wrap the tape around his chest, which is a little awkward since I basically have to hug him.)

Me: “You’re a 42 band size—”

(Suddenly, the man leans in to kiss me. I jump way back.)

Me: “Woah! Personal bubble!”

(By now, his wife has returned. The man tries to explain.)

Man: *to his wife* “It’s her fault! She’s giving me a look!”

(The man and his wife leave soon after, but not before his wife comes and gives me a quick apology for her husband’s behavior!)

Self-Checkout

Extras

picard self checkout

Laptop Flop, Part 5

| Finland | At The Checkout, Geeks Rule, Money, Technology

(A customer walks in with a cheap supermarket-branded laptop. She insists it’s only a tiny problem, but it turns out to be a malware-ridden horror show with no anti-virus software installed at all. I spend over 30 minutes cleaning it up with the customer standing behind my back. I recommend installing an anti-virus package, which the customer refuses. She then picks up her machine, and tries to walk out.)

Me: “Excuse me, aren’t you forgetting something?”

Customer: “…Huh?”

Me: “The service fee is 45 euros.”

Customer: “Oh, come on! The computer was already expensive, and now this?!”

Me: “I guess we couldn’t go on for long if we worked for free.”

Customer: “But this is what you nerds do on your free time anyway!”

Related:
Laptop Flop, Part 4
Laptop Flop, Part 3
Laptop Flop, Part 2
Laptop Flop