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Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 3

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(The store is small and only has four cash registers. Three are open, and I am at the fourth doing a return for a customer, Customer #1.)

Me: “…and here’s your change. Sorry that the bread was bad.”

Customer #1: “No worries, these things happen.”

(Suddenly, another customer, Customer #2, with a full cart appears and starts unloading onto the till conveyer belt. Note that my light is off and there’s a ‘Closed’ sign on the belt.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry sir, but my till is closed.”

Customer #2: “Too f***ing bad.”

Me: “…Beg pardon?”

Customer #2: “Just put me the f*** through so I can go home!”

(I look at the other tills. All are open, with no other customers at any of them.)

Me: “I’m not actually a cashier; I’m just the closing manager. I have other things to do, so I really do need you to go to another till.”

Customer #2: *still unloading* “Listen, you little s***! I’ll f***ing choose the godd*** till I f***ing want!”

(I’m totally speechless at Customer #2’s behavior, but thankfully Customer #1 intervenes.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me, but what the h*** is your problem? He’s given you a good reason why he can’t put you through this till, and you’re blatantly ignoring it while being incredibly rude.”

Customer #2: “All those other tills are too far away!”

Me: “The next till is three feet over…”

(Thankfully, in the end he did move.)

Related:
Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 2
Lack of Register Does Not Register

Maybe They Already Hit Their Head

| CA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

(It’s roughly an hour before closing time, which is when things start to wind down. However, in pops one middle-aged and very confused-looking customer holding a helmet.)

Me: “Howdy, ma’am! Do you need any help?”

Customer: “Um… well I’m very confused. My sister—she lives in Hawaii, you know—she bought me this helmet, and, I don’t know why this is, but it’s too small.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that ma’am! Would you like to look at some of our helme—”

Customer: “I just don’t understand! Why would my sister buy me a helmet that’s too small? It doesn’t make sense! It should fit me no matter what!”

(This dialogue continues for several minutes, each time with me explaining something partially before the customer returns to going on about how she’s confused. Eventually I do manage to bring her over to the helmet displays.)

Me: “The helmets start at $35, and we do have a model that’s the same as what your sister gave you, but it comes in diff—”

Customer: “There’s so many! Why are there so many different helmets? This is very confusing to me!”

(I take the time to quickly and simply explain differences—or so I think.)

Customer: “That doesn’t make any sense. I’m so confused! Let me try on this one! Is this one going to fit me?”

Me: “I don’t know, ma’am. It should fit. Why don’t you try it on?”

(She does eventually try on the helmet, after much deliberation and stating that she’s confused. This continues for another half hour. Eventually, she’s decided on a helmet, and I think I”m finally out of this ordeal.)

Me: “You made a good choice, ma’am! Now let me just go ahead get this back in the box and ring you up!”

(The customer stares blankly into space for a few moments.)

Customer: “I’m… I don’t know what to think. I’ll have to go home and think about this more. I’m very confused.” *leaves*

(My coworker, who has witnessed the entire lengthy exchange, speaks up.)

Coworker: “Dude, I’m so, so sorry.”

Me: *pained, sheepish grin*

He Has Beef With The Cheese, Part 2

| NV, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like a cheeseburger with no cheese, and some fries.”

Me: “Okay, so you’d like a hamburger combo with fries. That’ll be $7.4—”

Customer: “No, no, I don’t want a hamburger. I want a cheeseburger with no cheese.”

Me: “So… a hamburger.”

Customer: “NO! I don’t want a hamburger. I want a cheeseburger minus cheese!”

(Note: cheeseburgers, whether I enter in “no cheese” or not, are always a dollar more than hamburgers.)

Me: “So, you want to pay a dollar extra for a cheeseburger, but you want no cheese?”

Customer: “YES! Is that so hard?”

Me: “No, sir. So, a cheeseburger with no cheese, and fries. Your total is $8.54.”

Customer: *satisfied, hands me a $10* “Much better!”

Related:
He Has Beef With The Cheese