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Knows Right Off The Bat

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Related | December 16, 2013

(I’m deciding on what Christmas presents to get for my friend’s nephew, who is four. Everyone is getting him Batman themed things. I decide to get him a stuffed animal.)

Me: “Hey, [Name]. What’s your favorite animal?”

Friend’s Nephew: *loudly* “BATMAN!”

Laundromaniacs

| UT, USA | Related | December 16, 2013

(I’m sitting in bed, feeding my son. My husband is getting ready for work. We’re first time parents. Getting all the housework done is often a struggle.)

Husband: “Do I have any clean socks?”

Me: “Yeah, in the laundry basket. Sorry. I didn’t finish that yesterday. I’ll do it today.”

Husband: “It’s the same thing you do every day, Pinky: Try to finish the laundry!”

Me: “Pretty much!”

Can’t Contain Herself

| Concordia, KS, USA | Related | December 16, 2013

(My sister has just came in from putting salt on the ice outside. She throws the container at me. I’m laying on the floor watching a movie.)

Me: “Hey!” *throws it back but misses*

(My sister laughs and throws it back. This time I catch it. She then leaves to go to her room.)

Me: “Wait! You can’t go to bed!”

Sister: “Why not?”

Me: *holding up the container* “I have to throw this at you!”

Urine So Much Trouble

| USA | Related | December 16, 2013

(I am a 15-year-old female and my little brother is 7. My mom has an annoying habit of making him pee in a cup instead of stopping the car. One day I enter her car with them both for a shopping trip. I notice an opened can of soda in the car’s cup holder. My mom likes to drink soda in the car while she drives.)

Me: *grabs it* “Perfect. I’m so thirsty.”

Brother: “Wait!”

Me: “Why? You’re not getting some.”

Brother: “No. I peed in there yesterday!”

(I drop the can back like a hot potato and glare at my mom. She got an earful from me that day for me nearly drinking pee!)

I don’t want to live in this world anymore

| Related | December 16, 2013

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