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A Very Long (Wait For) Engagement

| ME, USA | Romantic | December 17, 2013

(My boyfriend has had my engagement ring for several weeks now, but hasn’t asked me to marry him yet. He’s already skipped asking me on Valentine’s Day a week earlier. I’m getting rather eager. Finally, I notice him acting nervous all day and know that today is the day! We go to church, we go out to lunch, we go shopping, we go to a movie, we go a store, all day we are together, and he still hasn’t given me my ring! He is driving me home, minutes before curfew. I get frustrated, while at a stop light at an intersection.)

Me: “So are you going to ask me, or what?”

Boyfriend: “Uh… Well, you wanna?”

Me: “Yes! Duh!”

(My boyfriend opens the center compartment in the car and hands me the ring box. Totally not romantic. And yet, it’s so us!)

Junk In My Trunk

| Romantic | December 17, 2013


The Writing Tutorial Is On The Wall

| AB, Canada | Learning | December 17, 2013

(My school holds writing tutorials in a very large room. People are often doing different things depending on where they’re sitting. My friend and I sit down for the writing tutorial where they’re normally held. Teacher #1 is there. She knows me very well.)

Teacher #1: “Okay, so we have [Student #1], [Student #2], [Student #3], and… Oh, [My Name]! Good to see you.”

(I smile politely, although I think it’s a bit strange that she greeted us individually.)

Teacher #1: “As you know, we welcome all students, whether or not they’ve worked on yearbooks before…”

(My friend and I exchange glances and realise we’re in the wrong place. We stay there awkwardly for a few moments, not wanting to interrupt the teacher.)

Teacher #2: *across the room* “Everyone who’s here for the writing tutorial, it’s over here.”

(My friend and I get up to leave.)

Teacher #1: “[My Name], you’re not joining yearbook club?”
Me: “Uh… No. Sorry?”

Teacher #1: “Noooooo! I had such high hopes!”

School Of Fish, Not Thought

| Wales, UK | Learning | December 17, 2013

(We are discussing language and politeness in class.)
Lecturer: “Okay. Say if your lecturer had given you their fish to look after, and you accidentally killed it. How would you tell them?”

Student: “Why has the lecturer given me their fish? Isn’t that breaking the politeness/respect barrier in the first place?”

Lecturer: “Well, maybe it was for an experiment or something.”

Me: “I’m a linguistics student, not a scientist!”

Student #2: “Linguistics is a science!”

Student #1: “What kind of linguistic experiments am I running with goldfish, anyway?”

Lecturer: “Can we get back to the point? How would you tell your lecturer you’d accidentally killed their goldfish?”

Student #1: “Sorry. It turns out that taking a goldfish out of water doesn’t give it the ability to speak language. But at least we know now!”

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Must Have Learned It From His Dear Papa

| CA, USA | Learning | December 17, 2013

(My brother’s kindergarten class is learning about lumberjacks.)

My Brother: “I know a good song about lumberjacks!”

Teacher: “Okay. Would you like to sing it?”

My Brother:I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay—

Teacher: *blushing furiously* “Not that one!”

(That warranted a very interesting parent-teacher conference!)

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