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Lack Of Clothes Equals Lack Of Inhibitions

| OH, USA | Romantic | December 18, 2013

(My boyfriend is a total guy and gear-head with scars and muscles to back it up. We are taking a shower. His hair is just long enough to play with. I am giggling as I run shampoo through his hair and create hair-dos.)

Boyfriend: “[My Name].”

Me: *forming his hair into a nerdy style* “Yeah?”

Boyfriend: “You know I’m only letting you do this because you’re naked, right?”

Relationship Sign Language

| Romantic | December 18, 2013


Caught Read Handed

| Erie, PA, USA | Learning | December 18, 2013

(I have been reading fluently since the age of four. My regular preschool teacher knows this. One day we have a substitute.)

Substitute: “All right, boys and girls. Now we’re going to draw! Go ahead and draw whatever you want to. I’ll come around and write down on your paper what you drew!”

(The substitute works her way around the room and finally gets to me.)

Substitute: “[My Name], what did you draw?”

Me: “It’s Mommy, and Daddy, and [My Name], and [Dog’s Name], going to dinner at [local restaurant]. Write that, please!”
(The substitute begins to write “My family goes to dinner” on the page.)

Me: “NOOOOOO! I said ‘Mommy, and Daddy, and [My Name], and [Dog’s Name], going to dinner at [local restaurant]’! That says ‘My family goes to dinner’!”

(The substitute stares at me for a second. Then she writes down what I had said, word for word.)

Me: “THANK you.”

(The substitute hurries out of the room but forgets to close the door. Moments later, floating in from the hallway, my whole class can hear her.)

Substitute: “Why didn’t somebody tell me one of them could read?!”

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Timekeeping Isn’t As Clear As A Bell

| NSW, Australia | Learning | December 18, 2013

(Our science teacher hasn’t turned up for class. Some people went looking for him but couldn’t find him. The bell goes for the end of class. As everyone gets up to leave our teacher walks in.)

Teacher: “Oh. I got it wrong, didn’t I?”

Advanced Politics

| Canada | Learning | December 18, 2013

(I am in social studies class with a teacher who is adamant about getting us involved in politics.)

Teacher: “Raise your hand if you’re voting in the election tomorrow.”

(A few students raise their hands, but I don’t.)

Teacher: “[My Name]! Why aren’t you voting? You’re old enough. You should go out and vote instead of sitting around on your butt watching TV and playing videogames! What kind of world am I leaving to you people? You can’t even be bothered to vote—”

Me: “I went to an advanced poll a week ago, sir.”

Teacher: “Oh…”

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