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The Other Favorite

| Australia | Related | December 19, 2013

(I’m living overseas. I decide to call my grandmother to wish her a Merry Christmas.)

Nan: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi, Nan! Merry Christmas! I love you!!”

Nan: “Who is this?”

Me: “It’s your favourite grand-daughter!”

Nan: “Oh, [Cousin’s Name]. I’m so glad you called!”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Uh, no, Nan. It’s [My Name].”

Nan: “Oh! I’m glad you called, dear. How are you?”

(I should have known that was going to happen. At least I am my grandfather’s favourite!)

A Baby’s Laughter

| Related | December 19, 2013

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Love In The Time Of Zombies: Christmas Special

| CA, USA | Romantic | December 19, 2013

(My boyfriend and I have been doing the long-distance thing for the last five of the nine months we’ve been dating. My birthday is a few days before Christmas. We have made plans to have me meet his mom on that day. He plans to give me both a Christmas gift and a birthday gift. Although I’m the sentimental sort, I’ve been wracking my brain trying to think of what to give to him. I’m trying to get him to reveal anything I can use to make a meaningful gift for him that he’ll like.)

Me: “I’m trying to come up with some ideas for what to do to celebrate Christmas with you in some way. I want to do something special, but my imagination’s lacking.”

Boyfriend: “I am not ignoring you. Just got home five minutes ago. Eating mac and cheese. And anything is special as long as it’s with you.”

Me: “HOW!? You are wonderful. I can’t help wondering how you do it? Make me feel like I do?'”

Boyfriend: “Thank my mom for raising a gentleman. Chivalry isn’t dead; it’s a boss.”

Me: “A thousand times I thank her. Chivalry is a zombie. People thought they’d killed it, but it keeps coming back. And totally wants women for their brains.”

 

Kissing His Relationship Goodbye

| Christchurch, New Zealand | Romantic | December 19, 2013

(I overhear my 12-year-old son talking to his girlfriend on the phone.)

Son: “What does it feel like when I kiss you?”

(I don’t hear her answer, but he replies.)

Son: “That’s weird, because it makes me feel a bit sick in my mouth when I kiss you.”

Sweet And Sticky

| USA | Romantic | December 19, 2013

(I text my boyfriend at work.)

Me: “If I were to make brownies, would you want to come over for sex?”

(After a long delay.)

Boyfriend: “I read that aloud just now and [Coworker] almost peed his pants.”

Me: “So… Yes?”

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