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Can I Return This?

| Right | December 20, 2013


Customer Doesn’t Believe

| Right | December 20, 2013


Talking At Cross-Channels

| Kansas City, KS, USA | Working | December 20, 2013

(I have tired of paying for cable since I rarely watch television and I cancel my subscription. A month later I get rid of my two television sets. A year after that I get a call from a telemarketer.)

Telemarketer: “Hello. I see that you are only on the phone and internet plan. If you sign up for cable, you can bundle and save!”

Me: “That’s nice, but I don’t own a TV. So, no, thank you.”

Telemarketer: “But you can bundle the cost of internet/phone/cable to save!”

Me: “However, I don’t have a television set so I have no need for cable.”

Telemarketer: “But if you get cable you will pay more if you don’t bundle.”

Me: *sighs* “No, I don’t want cable for TVs that I don’t own. I am hanging up now.”

(The next day I get a different telemarketer from the same company.)

Other Telemarketer: “Hello. I see that you are only on the phone and internet plan. If you sign up for cable, you can bundle and save!”

Me: “No, thank you. I don’t own a television set.”

Telemarketer: “But you can bundle the cost of internet/phone/cable to save!”

Me: “Yes. I understand that, but as I said to you and the person yesterday, I don’t have a television set so I have no need for cable.”

(This happens again for the next two days, with different telemarketers.)

Me: “You know, I just talked to a couple different people this week. Why don’t you get me your supervisor?”

(The telemarketer gets the supervisor, who talks very condescendingly.)

Supervisor: “Hello. Let me explain how bundling works for the cable and your current phone and internet plan.”

Me: “Please stop and listen to what I am about to say. I DO NOT WANT CABLE BECAUSE I DO NOT OWN A TELEVISION SET. As in there is NO television for the output of said cable TV. So it would be a waste of my money and your time since I do not own a television set.”

(There is a very long pause until the supervisor’s light bulb goes on.)

Supervisor: “Oh, you don’t… Oh, you don’t HAVE A TV?! Oh, well, then. You won’t be needing cable at all. I will put a note on your file that you have no TV and not to call you about cable.”

(I broke a slew of telemarketers since not owning a TV is not in their training!)

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Sisterhood Of The Judgmental Rants

| Union, New Jersey, USA | Working | December 20, 2013

(I receive Women, Infants and Children (WIC) benefits. I’m used to all the judgmental stares I get when going shopping for food. On one occasion, I’d been treated very rudely by a cashier. When I return next month, her line was the only one open because it was near closing. I am the last customer. I mentally prepare myself for rudeness again. This time, she’s surprisingly polite.)

Cashier #1: “Uh, ma’am? Are you okay? Did you forget something?”

(My four-year-old daughter decides to honestly answer.)

Daughter: “She’s upset ’cause you were mean to her!”

Cashier #1: “Excuse me?”

Daughter: “You were mean to my mommy! You were mean and didn’t say sorry!”

Cashier #1: *to me* “Ma’am, I have never seen you or your daughter. What is she talking about?”

Me: “When I came in here last month, you berated me because two of my items were wrong. Then you told me that’s why I should get a job like everyone else. You said a freeloader like me shouldn’t have had a kid.”

Cashier #1: “That’s terrible. But, ma’am, I promise you I didn’t— Wait, you said last month?”

Me: “Yes.”

Cashier #1: “Let me ring up and bag your stuff; then wait right here. Don’t leave.”

(After everything is paid for and bagged, she closes her register and walks off. Less than three minutes later, she returns with a woman who looks exactly like her. As soon as the second cashier sees my daughter and me, she scowls.)

Cashier #1: *to the other cashier* “You say you don’t forget faces. Do you recognize them?”

Cashier #2: “Yeah. I remember them. Did they give you trouble too?”

Cashier #1: “No. But I think you gave them trouble. Maybe you should apologize.”

Cashier #2: “For what? It’s not my fault she had a kid when she was too d*** poor!”

Cashier #1: “Oh, really? Gee, I wonder if that’s how you felt when you had your son back in high school and everyone called you names. Now that you’re able to attend college, work, and don’t have to rely on our parents anymore, you’re above everyone?”

(The other cashier turns red and apologizes. She then leaves as quickly as possible.)

Cashier #1: “I’m sorry. That’s who was rude to you last month, not me. She’s my twin sister. You see, she’s an overachiever. She always felt that made her better than everyone else. Then, she had her son at 15 and things went downhill for a while. She’s back up now. I guess she didn’t learn any lessons during that time.”

Me: “Ah, okay. Well, thank you very much. If you don’t mind me asking, how does she think being a cashier while attending college puts her above others? Lots of people do it, with kids and without.”

Cashier #1: “She knows that. She just has an ego. A very big ego that she’s trying too hard to keep up with!”


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Marred By A Barred Card

| Wales, UK | Working | December 20, 2013

(I have recently been mugged. My employee discount card in my wallet needs to be cancelled. This will prevent anybody using it for fraudulent transactions in a different branch of my store. I ring up a special branch of the store’s helpdesk.)

Call Handler: “Hi. You’ve reached the [employee discount] helpline. My name is [Name]. How can I help you today?”

Me: “Hiya, yes. I had my wallet stolen yesterday so I need to cancel my discount card. I wouldn’t want anybody to be fraudulently using it now, would I?”

Call Handler: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll be happy to help you cancel your card. In order to do this I am going to be needing the long number on the front of your card.”

Me: “Er, I don’t have it! Can I give you my postcode or my employee number, please?”

Call Handler: “Those details would not be sufficient. I will need also the long number on the front of your card.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I don’t think we’re understanding one another. Please, could you give me the benefit of the doubt? Explain this to me, very carefully. I have had my wallet AND THEREFORE my discount card stolen from me, so that they are no longer in my possession. How would it be possible to read you out the card number, in order for you to cancel this card?”

Call Handler: “You could have… memorised it?”

Me: “Who does that?! Are you seriously telling me that really is the policy? Don’t you have another way of looking it up? Are other search functions locked to supervisor privileges or something?”

Call Handler: “Well, I could look it up from your employee number, but I’m not supposed to. I’m supposed to enter your card number. They told me I should only accept card numbers so that I know the call is genuine and that you’re not trying to defraud [Company].”

Me: “But, surely, if I’m trying to cancel a stolen card, I’m trying to prevent fraud?! If I don’t have the card on me. I can’t give you my card number. Now please can we use those other search functions you mentioned so I can get ahead with cancelling this d*** card?”

Call Handler: *huffy* “Well, I suppose so. But I still think it’s better if you give me your card number…”

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