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Weekly Roundup: Grow Up, Already, Part 2

| Not Always Right | Right | September 22, 2013

Weekly Roundup: Grow Up, Already, Part 2! In this week’s roundup, we share five stories about grown-up customers who need to grow up! Click here for Part 1.

  1. Parenting The Parents (2,549 thumbs up)
  2. A Good Ol’ Fashioned A** Whoopin’, Part 2 (3,030 thumbs up)
  3. Sweet Midlife Crisis (1,550 thumbs up)
  4. Always Handle Grown Ups With Kid Gloves, Part 2 (1,249 thumbs up)
  5. Talentless Pool (2,894 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Don’t Quit Your Daedric Job

| LA, USA | Working | September 22, 2013

(It’s a slow day, so I start doodling on our notepad. A customer walks in as I’m drawing.)

Customer: “What are you doing?” frowns at the doodle* “Is he supposed to be jumping rope?”

Me: “Intestines, actually.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Have you ever played any of the Elder Scrolls games?”

Customer: “Oh! It’s going to be Sheogorath!”

Me: *nod* “He’s my favorite NPC.”

Customer: “Yeah, he says the most random things.”

Me: “Yes and my favorite is—” *I throw my hands in the air and then shout* “—CHEESE FOR EVERYONE!”

(At that exact moment, another customer walks in. She stares at me a moment and the other customer laughs.)

Me: “Er, I promise I’m not crazy. We were talking about a game character and he shouts that. He’s the god of madness and he loves cheese!”

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Putting The Gas Into Gastronomic

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Working | September 22, 2013

(Several of us are in the lunch room when we hear a coworker yelling in the hallway outside.)

Coworker #1: “You guys are all gross!”

(Coworker #1 comes into the lunch room.)

Coworker #2: “Hey, [Coworker #1], what’s up?”

Coworker #1: “Those guys are gross! You know what they’re doing? They’re trying to guess what each other had for breakfast!”

Coworker #2: “So what?”

Coworker #1: “No, they’re burping, and smelling each other’s burps!”

It Was April, Most Deaf

| WI, USA | Related | September 22, 2013

(My dad has been telling me a story about when he met a celebrity when he was a sophomore in high school.)

Me: “So how old were you, like 16?”

Dad: “No. So anyway, I looked at my sister and—”

Me: “Oh this was when you were 15?”

Dad: “No! I told you! No what don’t you understand? It was APRIL! Start listening and let me tell my d*** story!”

Me: “What? I just asked how old you were!”

Dad: “Oh, I thought you were asking if it was Halloween!”

Not On His Best Bee-Hive-iour

| FL, USA | Related | September 22, 2013

(My dad is visiting from California, and we’ve gone to a well-known coffee shop to chat. Dad absolutely hates waiting in lines, so he finds us a table while I order each of us a large coffee and a danish.)

Dad: “What’s that?”

Me: “What does it look like? It’s a danish.”

Dad: “What’s on it?”

Me: *taking a bite* “Cherries and honey and icing.”

Dad: “Honey? Blecchh!”

Me: “Since when don’t you like honey?”

Dad: “Since I found out what it really is!”

Me: “Yeah?”

Dad: “IT’S BEE PUKE! YOU’RE EATING BEE PUKE!”

(Everyone in the shop turns and stares at us.)

Me: “Y’know, I just remembered why I didn’t want to move to California with you.”

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