Archive for 2013

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She’s A Little Girl With A Round Tummy

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Right | September 22, 2013

(I am quite short, with short, bright red hair. I am in the middle of taking the table’s order.)

Customer: “Which red-headed celebrity do you remind me of?”

Me: “I’m not sure, sorry. Scarlett Johansson in The Avengers, maybe?”

Customer: “No, not her.”

Me: “Cal Wilson? She’s got short red hair as well.”

Customer: “No, that’s not it.”

(I suggest a couple of other possibilities, but she rejects them. Unable to work it out, I finish taking their order, then continue going about my business. About half an hour later, she flags me down.)

Customer: “I’ve worked out who it is!”

Me: “Oh, right, who is it?”

Customer: “Ponyo!”

Me: “…”

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No Further Steps Were Taken

| Wales, UK | Right | September 22, 2013

(Some of our storage space consists of large cupboards in the walls above our displays. I am standing at the top of a ladder checking a cupboard for stock, when I vaguely overhear an older woman talking to someone behind me.)

Customer: “…see if he notices.”

(The customer proceeds to shake the bottom of the ladder I’m standing on, then speaks to the man she is with.)

Customer: “I wonder if he’ll get scared?”

Me: “Um, hi. Did you want me to move the ladder out of the way?”

Customer: “No, I was just wondering if you’d notice.”

Me: “I did notice. And you’d certainly have noticed if I’d landed on your head…”

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Weekly Roundup: Grow Up, Already, Part 2

| Not Always Right | Right | September 22, 2013

Weekly Roundup: Grow Up, Already, Part 2! In this week’s roundup, we share five stories about grown-up customers who need to grow up! Click here for Part 1.

  1. Parenting The Parents (2,549 thumbs up)
  2. A Good Ol’ Fashioned A** Whoopin’, Part 2 (3,030 thumbs up)
  3. Sweet Midlife Crisis (1,550 thumbs up)
  4. Always Handle Grown Ups With Kid Gloves, Part 2 (1,249 thumbs up)
  5. Talentless Pool (2,894 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Don’t Quit Your Daedric Job

| LA, USA | Working | September 22, 2013

(It’s a slow day, so I start doodling on our notepad. A customer walks in as I’m drawing.)

Customer: “What are you doing?” frowns at the doodle* “Is he supposed to be jumping rope?”

Me: “Intestines, actually.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Have you ever played any of the Elder Scrolls games?”

Customer: “Oh! It’s going to be Sheogorath!”

Me: *nod* “He’s my favorite NPC.”

Customer: “Yeah, he says the most random things.”

Me: “Yes and my favorite is—” *I throw my hands in the air and then shout* “—CHEESE FOR EVERYONE!”

(At that exact moment, another customer walks in. She stares at me a moment and the other customer laughs.)

Me: “Er, I promise I’m not crazy. We were talking about a game character and he shouts that. He’s the god of madness and he loves cheese!”

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Putting The Gas Into Gastronomic

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Working | September 22, 2013

(Several of us are in the lunch room when we hear a coworker yelling in the hallway outside.)

Coworker #1: “You guys are all gross!”

(Coworker #1 comes into the lunch room.)

Coworker #2: “Hey, [Coworker #1], what’s up?”

Coworker #1: “Those guys are gross! You know what they’re doing? They’re trying to guess what each other had for breakfast!”

Coworker #2: “So what?”

Coworker #1: “No, they’re burping, and smelling each other’s burps!”

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