Archive for 2013

Jump to page:

The Height Of Delusion

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Related | September 23, 2013

(I’m hanging out with my cousin, who’s lamenting his singleness.)

Cousin: “I miss [ex-girlfriend]. Do you think she’d take me back?”

Me: “Uh… I doubt it. I think she’s a pretty different person now. Also, the last time I talked to her, she had a boyfriend.”

Cousin: “Yeah, I heard she hooked up with some old university buddy of hers. But I’m better than him.”

Me: “I’m not trying to put you down here, but what makes you say that?”

Cousin: “I’m taller.”

Bruce Wayne And The Recession

| BC, Canada | Related | September 23, 2013

(My brother and I are on the way out to the car after picking up some groceries.)

Brother: “Look! The Batmobile!”

(I look around excited as we are in a wealthy neighborhood. I see an old rusty Toyota with a Batman sticker on the hood.)

Me: “Ugh, maybe Ben Affleck’s Batmobile on a Miramax budget.”

The Zombie Family

| Related | September 23, 2013

funny-zombie-stick-family-car-decal

You Are My Sunshine, My Distant Sunshine

| NY, USA | Romantic | September 23, 2013

(My boyfriend and I met and started dating in the very short two weeks he was home right before deployment to Afghanistan. Because of this, we are still getting to know each other, almost two months later. We are on video chat, having a conversation on global warming.)

Boyfriend: “Well, the rich people will all go into space and still survive despite the earth failing them.”

Me: “You know, there is not enough energy to sustain that. Maybe solar energy?”

Boyfriend: “What if they float off into space? Solar won’t work if they are too far from the sun.”

Me: “No, not if the technology is invented that can concentrate the energy from other stars over great distances!”

(The conversation continues in this manner until we have to log off. A few minutes later I see he has updated his Facebook status.)

Boyfriend’s Status: “You know your girlfriend is awesome when she can keep up a conversation on black-holes, supernovas, and micro-magnification of solar energy from distant suns.”

(He’s a keeper.)

Pick The Chivalrous Side

| USA | Romantic | September 23, 2013

(A male friend of mine has invited me out. We are both 15, so his parents have to drive us. I walk to one side of the car, and he follows me. I think maybe he usually sits on that side, and so I walk to the other side of the car. He follows me again, and so I go back to the original side, and he follows yet again.)

Me: “What are you doing?”

Friend: “I’m trying to open the door for you!”

(I blame past experience for assuming chivalry is dead!)

Page 472/1,563First...470471472473474...Last
« Previous
Next »