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Passed A Bar, Not THE Bar

| Richmond, VA, USA | Working | September 25, 2013

(I am currently interning at a traffic court, and witness the following case.)

Judge: “Defendant is charged with reckless driving that caused an accident. How does she plead?”

Public Defender: “She pleads ‘insanity,’ Your Honor!”

(The public defender is full of gusto and it is obviously his first case. The defendant slowly looks at him like he’s a complete moron.)

Defendant: “…I plea no contest, Your Honor… There is no insanity plea in a traffic case.”

Judge: *to the public defender* “And the fact that the defendant is more aware of that than you are worries me.”

Public Defender: “Well, she had to have been insane when she was going 120 miles per hour in a 55—”

Judge: “Your job is to DEFEND her, not PROSECUTE her! Or do you need to go back to law school?”

(The defendant looks utterly appalled and shakes her head at the public defender.)

Defendant: “You’re fired.”

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Customer, Serve Thyself

| Working | September 25, 2013

You Have Been Disconnected

| Working | September 25, 2013

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Real Life Autocorrect

| Related | September 25, 2013

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Drawing A Line In The Line

| San Diego, CA, USA | Related | September 25, 2013

(My father and I are standing in line to enter a theme park with my daughters. It is a member’s only line that is supposed to be faster, but is moving slowly due to tech issues. My father is getting impatient and voices his displeasure.)

Dad: “Why is this line so slow? Jeez, they really need a better system!”

Woman In Line: *to her friend* “That man is so rude! I’d be embarrassed if I was his family!”

My Preteen Daughter: *loudly* “I’d be embarrassed if I couldn’t mind my own business!”

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