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Alienating Your Siblings

| Australia | Related | October 4, 2013

(I am 13 years old. My mum is out for the night and my brother is looking after me. I wake up around 1 am hearing shouting and people running around the house. When I come into the living room, my 21-year-old brother and one of his friends are crouched behind our couch with Nerf guns, while two more of his friends are trying to sneak up and get close to them. Eventually one of them gets close enough to drag my brother’s friend away from the couch while he’s shouting and thrashing, and then they switch places. I’m watching this for a while before I decide to speak up.)

Me: “What are you guys doing?”

Brother’s Friend: “We’re playing Aliens.”

Brother: “Hey, she can be Newt!”

Give Her Crap

| Romantic | October 4, 2013

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Savor The Survivor

| Adelaide, SA, Australia | Romantic | October 4, 2013

(My partner and I are snuggling in bed. She randomly turns to me.)

Partner: “If we were stranded on a deserted island with no food, I’d eat the other survivors first before I ate you.”

Engine Failure

| USA | Romantic | October 4, 2013

(I am wandering through the mall, and a guy working at the pet store decides to try hitting on me. After a minute or two of small talk, he switches tactics and tries some bragging.)

Guy: “So, you know, I can work on any kind of engine that has ever been built!”

Me: “Really? What do you think of sleeve-valves?”

(The guy stares at me blankly.)

Me: “You know, sleeve-valves. Aren’t they neat? I know they had their problems, but it’s such a shame that they never really gained popularity.”

Guy: “Sleeve-valves?”

Me: “They were used in engines of some of the cars from the 1920’s, mostly the Sterns and Willys Knights.”

Guy: “Oh, well I meant I can work on any modern engine that has ever been built.”

(I think he picked the wrong girl to try out that pick-up line. It’s a shame too; if he had actually been able to back up his statement, he would have had me hook, line, and sinker.)

Prehistoric Googling

| Learning | October 4, 2013

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