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Working During The Holidays

| Right | December 23, 2013

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Aversion To The Holiday Season

| Right | December 23, 2013

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Adding Consult To Injury

| Edo. de México, Mexico | Working | December 23, 2013

(My mother has a fall on the stairs. My sister and I take her to the hospital to get a cast on her leg. While we’re there, my mother mentions that my sister had an operation on her kneecaps about one year ago.)

Doctor: “Really? How is it developing?”

(My sister shows him one of her knees).

Sister: “Hurts a little if I run, but it’s going well.”

Doctor: “Ah. I suggest you to do some exercise, like using a stationary bike.”

(Once my mom has her cast, we start to leave. We then notice that there’s an extra 400 pesos charge for a medical consultation unrelated to my mom.)

Mom: “Excuse me. What is this extra consultation here?”

Receptionist: “It was for the examination of your daughter.”

Mom: “Examination? He looked at her leg and suggested exercise!”

(They argue for a moment, until the doctor comes in.)

Mom: “Excuse me. You’re charging us extra for looking at my daughter’s leg?”

Doctor: “Well, I did give medical advice, so it was a consultation.”

(I look outside at the sign in front of the hospital. It should be noted that I’m studying communications in college.)

Me: “Excuse me. Might I offer a suggestion?”

Doctor: “Yes?”

Me: “Some of the letters in the sign outside can be a little difficult to read when they pass the pink stripes in the sign. I think you should change their color so people can read it easier from a distance.”

Doctor: *confused* “Okay. Thank you.”

Me: “You owe me 2,000 pesos for the image consultation.”

(They decide to drop the charge.)

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Translation Elation

| Surrey, England, UK | Working | December 23, 2013

(My colleague is having trouble with a group of ladies.)

Colleague: “I’m trying to explain [ice cream] to them and it’s going nowhere.”

(I hover for a moment, and recognize some words as Spanish.)

Me: *in Spanish* “My apologies ladies. Are you Spanish?”

Customer: “Mexican.”

Me: “All right. I studied Catalan, so please forgive any differences and my years without practice. We have three sizes of ice cream: small, which is one scoop, medium, which is two, and large, which is three. All our prices are on the board behind me. We also have dark, milk, and white chocolate, nuts, and warm chocolate, or caramel as extras.”

(The women, while thrilled with my explanation, do not buy ice cream.)

Colleague: “How the f*** did you do that?”

Me: “I speak four languages, including Spanish.”

Colleague: *walking to the others* “Did you see that? Did you see that!? [My Name] spoke another language like it’s nothing!”

(I found this rather cringe-worthy, since the other colleague he was talking to is of Indian descent.)

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The Wailing Ghost

| Oxford, England, UK | Working | December 23, 2013

(It’s two weeks to Christmas, and our tea company has implemented a country-wide ‘Advent calendar’ to motivate our staff and get us feeling festive. Each day we get a sales challenge and a quiz question to answer. The first store to answer correctly is the winner. Two of my colleagues and I are between transactions at the till.)

Colleague #1: “Who are the four ghosts in A Christmas Carol?”

Me: “Christmas Past, Christmas Present, Christmas Future, and Jacob Marley.”

Colleague #1: “Jacob Marley? Who’s that?”

Me: “He’s Ebeneezer Scrooge’s old business partner.”

Colleague #2: *who hasn’t really been listening* “What are you talking about?”

Me: “It’s the Advent question of the day. Who are the four ghosts in A Christmas Carol? Past, Present, Future, and—”

Colleague #2: “Oh, yeah, and Bob Marley!”

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