(I work for an email and software company. My two bosses, a pair of stereotypical cowboys from Texas, ask me to go with them to the Ferrari dealership to help select new cars. They are sitting on the steps of the lot’s main building looking at the cars.)

Boss #1: “Hey, [me], did you want a beer?”

(They have brought a six-pack with them.)

Me: “No, I am good, but that sales guy there is eyeing us.”

Boss #2: “Bet he is going to steal a beer. So, which one of these is most expensive?”

(I point out two Ferrari, one black and one red. At this point the sales rep comes up to them.)

Sales Rep: “Gentlemen, may I ask you move on? You’re scaring the other customers!”

Boss #2: *ignoring him* “[Boss #1], you want the red or black?”

Boss #1: “You know what? I’ll get both. We can sort it out later.”

(Boss #1 then hands a Platinum Amex card to the rep. He stands there, mouth agape for a few seconds.)

Sales Rep: “Uh… right away, sir!”

(A few minutes later they are both driving off in new Ferraris, and possibly still a tad tipsy!)

(I am working as a cashier. A very tall and slender man, in his late 20s, wearing all black, with shoulder length black hair, facial piercings, and white and black face make up, and his nails painted black comes up to my till.)

Me: “Hi, did you find everything? Or is there something I can help you with?”

Customer: *in a very quiet low voice* “Um… yeah. I was wondering if you can hold this for a little while. Mama bear is done shopping over at [grocery store], and I need to go get her.”

Me: “Sure, if you just want to leave it here, I can put it under my till or you can take it to customer service.”

Customer: “I will leave it here.”

(The customer walks away. After about 15 minutes, he comes back to my till.)

Customer: “Hi, mama bear wasn’t finished, so I need to know if you can hold my stuff a while longer.”

Me: “Sure thing, that won’t be a problem.”

(He then proceeds to reach out a touch my hair.)

Customer: “I feel the energy of your hair. It wants you to know, it loves you.”

Me: “…”

(Once again he walks out the door. After another hour he comes back in with an older lady, in her 80s with a cane.)

Customer: “See Oma, this is who I was telling you about. Do you feel that energy?”

Old Lady: “Yes, she feels very light, like clouds.”

Me: “Are you ready to pay?”

Old Lady: “In a minute, dear.”

(This is when a middle aged lady, maybe 50, walks in grabs their hands and starts leading them toward the door without purchasing their items.)

Customer: “But mama bear, the hair!”

Coworker: “That was odd.”

(I am manning the phones late on a Saturday afternoon.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [TV service]; how can I help you?”

Caller: “The TV’s gone wrong. There will be somebody in at six to fix it. The football’s on tonight.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, we cannot get anybody out until Monday.”

Caller: “You have gotta be f****** joking. You advertise 24-hour service.”

Me: “We have a 24-hour answering service to take the details. Repairs are carried out from 8 am until 6 pm, Monday through to Saturday.”

Caller: “Look, c***! Get somebody round my house now, or I’ll come round there and smash your f****** face in!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, I can’t help.”

Caller: “Okay ‘boy’, put me through to your boss. I want to talk to the organ grinder, not the monkey.”

(The boss is in the office with me, and has heard my half of the conversation. My boss picks up the phone, and puts it in speaker mode.)

Boss: “Good evening, sir. How can I be of assistance?”

Caller: “Your f****** ‘TEA BOY’ has told me I can’t get my TV fixed today!”

Boss: “The f****** tea boy is absolutely correct.”

(My boss puts the phone down on the caller, cutting him off in mid-flow of swear words. He looks over and smiles.)

Boss: “That’s the way to handle them. Now, how about a cup of tea now that you have been promoted?”

Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

1. Submit a funny or interesting story about young customers.
2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning August Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about Tourists & Travelers. The winning submission: There Is A Meth To This Madness (2,698 thumbs up).

PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, October 2!

(I overhear a library patron talking to his small daughter.)

Patron: “You’re turning five today; do you know what that means?”

Daughter: “Uh…”

Patron: “Do you know what you finally get today? It’s so exciting!”

Daughter: “A pink Nintendo DS?!”

Patron: “What? Uh, no. We’re getting you a library card.”

Me: “…weeee! Happy birthday!”