Archive for 2013

Jump to page:

Their Device Passed The Acid Test

| USA | Working | October 7, 2013

(My brother’s Playstation 2 is having mechanical issues with the disk tray. Fortunately, there is a store nearby that is certified to fix it, and we take it in. Not two hours later, my mother receives a phone call screaming that we need to come pick up the unfixed system immediately.)

Mom: “Hi, we were just called about my son’s Playstation.”

Manager: “Yes, just a moment.”

(He looks very mad as he goes to the back and brings out the Playstation. It is wrapped all the way around with several layers of plastic wrap, with a big sign taped to the top reading ‘LIVE ANIMALS.’)

Manager: “Ma’am, were you aware your son hid live cockroaches in this before bringing it in? When my employee unscrewed the case they jumped right out at him! Because of this, we are banning you from the store. Please never come back.”

(My mom is obviously annoyed, but doesn’t argue. We take the system home and my mom un-wraps the system herself. She takes off the casing that they never bothered to screw back down. Finding nothing, she decides to go back the next day, but leaves my brother and me at home. Miraculously, she comes back with a brand new system straight out of the box.)

Me: “Mom, what happened?”

Mom: “That stupid manager didn’t realize his employee was high on acid, and hallucinated cockroaches coming out of the system. So for being a rude a**-hat, he gave me a new Playstation!”

1 Thumbs
2,279
VOTES

Planted The Seed Of Knowledge

| Manassas, VA, USA | Working | October 7, 2013

(I have ordered a veggie sandwich from Employee #1, and Employee #2 is finishing up the order.)

Employee #2: “What would you like on it?”

Me: “I’ll have hot peppers, and all the veggies.”

Employee #2: “Okay, so lettuce, onion, tomato, pickle, oil—”

Me: *jokingly* “Oil’s not a vegetable.”

Employee #2: “Yeah, but is lettuce really a vegetable?”

(It appears that she’s not being rhetorical, so I answer.)

Me: “Yes.”

(At this point, Employee #1 interjects.)

Employee #1: “What did you think it was?”

Employee #2: “I thought it was a plant… oh, wait…”

His Bill Will Be Priceless

| Stockholm, Sweden | Working | October 7, 2013

(I’m standing in line at the grocery store. A young man in front of me is obviously very excited. I look and see that he’s buying a packet of salt and a battery.)

Me: “That’s not going to work, you know.”

Man: “What?”

Me: *nodding to the grocery belt* “That. It’s not going to work.”

Man: “Oh yeah? Why?”

Me: “Because we’re Swedish. That joke isn’t really translatable.”

(The young man looks troubled, and stares at the floor. The customer in front of him has finished. The cashier turns her attention to the next items on the belt.)

Cashier: *literally bouncing and speaking English* “Young man, I hereby charge you for ASSAULT and BATTERY!”

Man: *turning to me* “HAH!”

1 Thumbs
2,452
VOTES

Call Of Duty: Misogynist Warfare, Part 5

| USA | Working | October 7, 2013

(I love video games. My brothers and I were basically raised on video games by both parents. My brother and I head to the local game store near our house to check out the wares. I’m a girl.)

My Brother: “We are going to look for more Bioshock Infinite stuff today.”

Me: “Okay.”

(He and I begin looking at shirts, DLC and other items related to the game. All the while, I am getting dirty looks from the male clerk. I assume he is new, as I’ve never seen him before.)

Clerk: “You’re a girl that plays games? Don’t you know girls are supposed to be in the kitchen?”

Me: *shrugs* “So? I play video games all the time dude, so chill out.”

Clerk: *scoffs* “I heard you and your brother talking. I bet you don’t play Bioshock Infinite.”

My Brother: *chimes in* “She beat it before I did.”

Clerk: *glares at me* “Prove it.”

(I’ve had enough of the clerk’s attitude, and tell him the ending to the game. He remains silent for a while, and doesn’t bother me again until my brother has me buy him another game.)

Clerk: “So, I don’t believe you. Where are you in the game?”

Me: “Stuck on Lady Comstock’s second battle—”

Clerk: “Ha! I knew it!”

Me: “—on ‘1999 mode.'”

(‘1999 mode’ is the extra-hard version of the game that is unlocked only by completing the game once. The clerk shuts up, rings up my brother’s game, and then asks me for my phone number.)

My Brother: “Back off a**-hole; she’s got standards and no way in h*** would I let you treat my sister like you did today.”

Me: “I don’t date dudes anyway.”

Related:
Call Of Duty: Misogynist Warfare, Part 4
Call Of Duty: Misogynist Warfare, Part 3
Call Of Duty: Misogynist Warfare, Part 2
Call Of Duty: Misogynist Warfare

1 Thumbs
1,576
VOTES

Doing A Good Job

| Working | October 7, 2013

images

Page 405/1,566First...403404405406407...Last