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Giving Them A Spanish Inquisition

, | Spain | Right | October 9, 2013

(I’m a teenager, although I look younger. My father owns a small, English-run shop, and I work some shifts there if I want some extra cash. My father can’t speak a word of Spanish, although I can since I go to school in Spain. Two customers walk in, talking in Spanish.)

Customer #1: “I hate this shop! It’s stupid, and they don’t even speak Spanish.”

Customer #2: “I know, right? I only come in here so I can mentally mock everything.”

(I’ve been listening the whole time, but they’ve only just spotted me.)

Customer #1: “Look! They’ve hired some low-life kid to help them out. I swear that’s illegal; I’m going to report it because it will be funny.”

(I’ve been keeping quiet, but now I get angry. I twist around, facing the men, and start talking to them in Spanish.)

Me: “Okay, listen up: I’m a teenager, and my dad owns this shop. In case you haven’t noticed already, I do speak Spanish, and I’ve heard everything you just said. So if you hate this shop so much, why don’t you get out?”

(We never see them again, which my father appreciates, since they were always coming in without buying anything and he didn’t know how to say anything!)

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Although He Uses A Lot Of Ranch

| Right | October 9, 2013

October Themed Story Giveaway Reminder: Liars & Scammers!

Not Always Working | Working | October 9, 2013
Want to win A Not Always Working t-shirt?
Enter October’s Themed Story Giveaway: Liars & Scammers!

Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

  1. Submit a funny or interesting story about lying/scamming employees, coworkers, or bosses!
  2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
  3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Working shop!

PS: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, November 6!

Earning Your Dinner

| OR, USA | Working | October 9, 2013

(There is a store a couple of blocks from my house that I go to fairly often. I apply to try and get a job, but am turned down. Since then I have found a better job. After work I swing by to grab something for dinner, still in my uniform and name badge. Immediately, I am pounced on by three customers from different directions. This is despite my uniform being completely different from the store’s uniform.)

Customer #1: “FINALLY! There are no workers anywhere! I need to know where walnuts are! The baking aisle isn’t where it used to be!”

Customer #2: “No, help me first! There are no more paper towels on the rack! They are on sale and I need them!”

Customer #3: “When you can, please, I need 20 bags of ice from the freezer.”

Me: “Uh… I don’t work here.”

Customer #1: “Oh of course you do! NOW, WALNUTS!”

Me: “Aisle eight is the baking aisle now, after the reset a week ago. Walnuts will be with the other nuts right next to the frostings, third shelf down I believe, about halfway down the aisle on the right.” *I turn to Customer #2* “Paper towels? If the rack is empty you should check at the end of aisle 15, there was a display end cap for them I saw yesterday and there should be plenty left.”

(I then turn to Customer #3, a little old lady who needs the ice. I lead her to the frozen aisle, load her cart for her, and give her a polite salute when she says goodbye. Then I finally grab my dinner and make my way to a check-stand. The cashier happens to be the owner, and as he rings me up he frowns.)

Owner: “Why the h*** don’t you work for me?!”

Me: “Uh… you never hired me.”

Owner: “An inexcusable oversight on my part! I heard you helping those people. Still need a job?”

Me: *I show him my badge from work* “Nope! Thanks though.”

Owner: “D***!”

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An Honest Scam

| San Jose, CA, USA | Working | October 9, 2013

(It is fairly late, and the phone rings. My husband picks up it up.)

Husband: “Hello?”

Caller: *cheerfully, in a heavily accented voice* “Hello, this is [generic sounding American name] from customer service. Are you the person who uses the computer?”

Husband: “Okay, what’s this about? What’s the scam?”

Caller: *still cheerfully* “We steal money from people with computers!”

Husband: “…Excuse me?”

Caller: “Can we steal money from you on your computer?”

Husband: “No thanks. Have a nice evening.”

(My husband hangs up and laughs.)

Husband: “I wonder if it is it still considered a scam if the guy tells you upfront they are trying to steal your money?”

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