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Hard Core Herbivore

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(It’s towards the end of the lunch rush. I am washing dishes in the back of our café. I overhear an exchange between a customer and a coworker.)

Customer: *very politely* “Could I have a vegetarian pastie, please?”

Coworker: “I’m very sorry, but I’ve just sold the last one.”

Customer: “So, there’s no vegetarian pasties?”

Coworker: “No, I’m sorry. But maybe you’d like to try—”

Customer: “FINE! I GUESS I’LL JUST F****** STARVE THEN!” *storms out*

You Say Milk, I Say Epinephrine

| Portland, ME, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work in a fairly well known coffee shop chain. A woman comes up to the bar to pick up her drink.)

Me: “[Name], your venti iced no whip mocha.”

Customer: “Excuse me! Does that have milk in it?”

Me: “The iced mocha?”

Customer: “Yes. That’s what I ordered: iced mocha coffee, no whip.”

Me: “Yes. It’s made with milk by default.”

Customer: “WELL, I DIDN’T WANT IT MADE WITH MILK! I AM HIGHLY ALLERGIC!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am. Let me remake that for you. So, you’d like iced coffee with mocha syrup and no whip?”

Customer: “Whatever. Fine. Yes. Mocha coffee iced with no whip.”

(I remake her drink rather quickly.)

Me: “Here you are. Sorry about that. Let me take that other one.”

Customer: “If it’s okay– I know you’re gonna dump it; I was hoping I could have it.”

Me: *confused* “Okay. That’s fine.”

Customer: *puts a straw in both* “Yum! These are both great! Thanks!”

Related:
You Say Tomato, I Say Epinephrine
You Say Potato, I Say Epinephrine

Es-pwñ-ol, Part 2

| San Diego, CA, USA | Language & Words

(My coworker is Mexican, but has very fair skin. Our store has more than 60,000 item numbers. While the employees who work in certain sections know the products and the numbers in their area, cashiers have to look the numbers up in the computer.)

Customer: “Hi. I was wondering what the price on this item is.”

Coworker: “Of course. Let me just look up the number for you.”

Customer: *to her friend in Spanish* “Can you believe this dumb b****? Can’t even tell me the price for this stupid thing.”

Coworker: *in Spanish* “The price for that is [price]. Can I help you with anything else?”

(The customer turned white and quickly walked away!)

Related:
Es-pwñ-ol