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Game, Set, Perfect Match

| India | Romantic | October 10, 2013

(My boyfriend and I have been in an online relationship for almost two years now. We are both big pervs and nerds. We are both video-chatting and discussing about games to buy online, when my boyfriend makes a booby joke.)

Me: ” Um… you know, I was almost tempted to take off my top for you.”

Boyfriend: *going through his game wish-list* “Hmm, Civilization V needs ‘Direct X 11’…”

Me: “All the s*** they say about gamer boyfriends is actually true!”

Love And Liquidation

| MN, USA | Romantic | October 10, 2013

(My long-distance girlfriend has very sensitive skin; so much so that stroking it will quickly cause her to lose track of what she is saying and go limp. We are talking via text message while I’m at work.)

Girlfriend: “Aah lurves joo.”

Me: “Ah lurves goo. That’s not an autocorrect; I just really appreciate goo.”

Girlfriend: “I… am glad? May the snot be with you?”

Me: “I shall now pet the puddle of [Girlfriend Name] goo.”

Girlfriend: “Hey! I am not even goo yet!”

Me: “Really? Well, can’t have that. Pettings will continue until liquidity improves.”

Girlfriend: “We have the weirdest flirting.”

His Woody Gives Her A Buzz

| England, UK | Romantic | October 10, 2013

(My girlfriend and I are really geeky and really soppy.)

Me: “I love you immensely.”

Girlfriend: “I love you to the Andromeda Galaxy and back.”

Me: “I love you to infinity and beyond!”

Girlfriend: *giggles* “I see you more as a Woody than a Buzz Lightyear.”

Me: “I’m always woody for you!”

Word On The Password

| Copenhagen, Denmark | Learning | October 10, 2013

(I am an exchange student, attending one of my very first lessons. I am alone in the classroom a while before the class starts, and I turn to the closest of the few other students that has arrived.)

Me: “Excuse me, do you know the password for the school network? I’ve never used it before.”

Student: *arrogant tone* “Hah, well that’s just typical of you exchange students. It’s so simple; how can you not manage to log in?”

Me: “Well, I found the network and everything; I just don’t know the password. Never mind, I’ll just ask someone else.”

Student: “No, alright, I’ll give it to you. But seriously, how do you expect to pass any of your classes if you can’t even handle a simple thing like a computer?”

(At this point, I am getting very annoyed and upset by his tone, but since I really need to log in, I try to ignore it.)

Me: “Could you just tell me the password, please?”

Student: “Right. It is ‘2012,’ and then three random letters, [letters]. See? Not that hard at all. I don’t know how you could mess it up.”

Me: “Okay, ‘2012[letters]’ right?”

Student: “Yeah, I don’t really know what the letters are supposed to be, they are always the same but the numbers change every year. I guess they just have really bad imagination.”

Me: “The letters are the initials of this university; that might have something to do with it.”

Student: “Eh… yeah. I… never thought about that.”

(The student is very friendly to me the rest of the semester!)

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Simba’s Soliloquy

| Montclair, NJ, USA | Learning | October 10, 2013

(I am in world religions class. Our professor is explaining how one religion relates spirituality to the Earth, and decides to use an example she figures most of us will know.)

Professor: “You know how in The Lion King, when Scar takes over, everything becomes dry and barren and there’s no more food? And then when Simba comes back, it starts to rain and everything grows again? It’s sort of like that. Evil brings evil, and good brings good.”

Student #1: “Huh, I always just thought The Lion King was trying to be Hamlet.”

Student #2: “How is it like Hamlet?”

Me: “Well, it centers around a prince, his father is killed, he finds out it was his uncle who did it, and then he goes back to avenge his father.”

Student #2: “That’s not Hamlet. That’s nothing like Hamlet!”

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