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Paying A Hire Price

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Top

(I’m purchasing something from my workplace, and they happen to give very generous discounts to employees.)

Manager: “Alright kiddo, that’ll be $5.59.”

(I pay for my item. The next customer in line happens to be purchasing the same item.)

Manager: “That’ll be $22.39, please.”

Customer: “What!? That guy only paid five bucks for his! Why do I have to pay over $20?”

Manager: “Sir, he works here. He gets an employee discount.”

Customer: “Well, I’m not paying this price! I want to pay what he paid! This is a complete rip-off!”

Manager: “Alright, when can you start?”

Customer: “What?”

Manager: “The discount is for employees only. When can you start? I think I can arrange an interview for you next week.”

Customer: “Why the h*** would I want to work here? I already have a well-paying job! I don’t want to deal with any stupid customers!”

Manager: “And that’s why he gets a discount, and you don’t!”

Space-Time Is Money

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Geeks Rule, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Top

(A customer enters, walks to the middle of the store, and starts looking around.)

Me: “You look lost.”

Customer: “Where’s your time machine?”

Me: “…sorry, what?”

Customer: “Don’t you guys have a time machine?”

Me: *laughing* “I kind of wish we did.”

Customer: “That’s weird that you don’t have one.”

(There is a pause.)

Customer: “Wait, what did I say?”

Me: “You asked for a time machine.”

Customer: “Oh, God, I meant an ATM machine.”

Me: “Yup, right over here.”

Customer: “Sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Me: “It’s alright, you made my day. Good luck finding the time machine!”