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Non-Flight Risk

| Canada | Right | October 10, 2013

(A passenger takes a flight from British Columbia to Newfoundland with one connection in between in Calgary. With roughly an hour to make the connection, she should have an easy time, especially since all flights are on time, and her gates are right across the room from each other. However, she misses her connecting flight. Our airline, at no additional fee, moves her to the next available flight in six hours. Within an hour or so, however, she calls our call center.)

Passenger: “I’d like to make a complaint!”

Agent: “Oh? I’m sorry to hear that. How can I assist you?”

Passenger: “I’m calling because your airline made me miss my connecting flight, and would not provide me a hotel for the night.”

Agent: “Oh, wow. I’m terribly sorry to hear that. What is your reservation code? I’ll see if I can find out if there is something we can do.”

(The agent reviews the reservation, and sees that the passenger has been re-accommodated to a new flight, and has been given a meal voucher for within the airport.)

Agent: “With all due respect, ma’am, it seems that your flight into Calgary was actually early, and you had just over an hour to connect to your connecting flight. It even shows that the agent at the gate called your name a few times. I’m not sure how we caused you to miss your flight.”

Passenger: “It was all your fault! And I want you guys to pay for my hotel for the night!”

Agent: “Again, ma’am, I apologize for—”

Passenger: “It was all the pilot’s fault! He didn’t tell me what time it was!”

Agent: “I’m sorry, what?”

Passenger: “The time! He didn’t tell me what time it was supposed to make an announcement about what time it is.”

Agent: “Ma’am, as a former gate agent at the airport, I can assure you that the captain does make those announcements. Also, in the case that he does not, I happen to know that roughly every 15 feet within the airport, there is a clock on a TV, food service station, and in every lounge. May I ask where you were that you were unable to see the clocks or hear the gate agent?”

Passenger: “That’s none of your business! Now, on top of paying for my hotel, I want you to pay me for my time that you’ve cost me by making me miss my flight. Give me back my money for this flight.”

Agent: “So, ma’am, let me see if I understand this: you got on a flight, knowing you had a connection in Calgary. On your confirmation, it told you the time you would arrive and leave. The captain may not have announced what time it was over the PA system, but within the airport, there were many clocks and many attempts at calling your name to get you on your connecting aircraft. When you did not make it onto the flight, we re-accommodated you at no fee, and even gave you a meal voucher for your additional hours at the airport. Now, you would like us to give you a free flight, AND reimburse you for the hotel that you only get about five hours of use from.”

Passenger: “Listen, are you stupid? You need to stop repeating me and get me some money.”

Agent: “I’m sorry, ma’am; I am not going to be able to help you.”

Passenger: “Tonight?”

Agent: “Ever.”

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Mom Is Bugging Out

| Right | October 10, 2013


| UT, USA | Working | October 10, 2013

(I hear an exchange between two employees in a DVD rental store.)

Clerk #1: *yells across the store* “Hey dude, any idea when the new Thor movie comes out?”

Clerk #2: *yells so the entire store can hear* “How the f*** should I know? I hate movies!”

Doing Irreparable Damage

| ON, Canada | Working | October 10, 2013

(My cell phone’s ear piece has stopped working. I take it to a kiosk for the company, where they proclaim it broken, and tell me the free way to exchange it. Later, I get a $100 warranty charge on my bill.)

Me: “Hi, I’m calling about the $100 charge on my bill? I was told there was no charge if I returned the phone.”

Representative: “Well, our records indicate that we never got the phone.”

Me: “Really? Because I used the packaging and shipping label you sent me, and shipped it back within the week.”

Representative: “Oh, wait, the warehouse did get it. But there was no damage, so we charged you.”

Me: “The ear piece was broken. I couldn’t use it as a phone! And a rep at one of your kiosks told me it was broken!”

Representative: “Oh, wait, there was damage. And that’s why we charged you.”

Me: “Wait, so the kiosk lied? I was told that as long as I returned the phone, there was no fee. They told me about the exchange, and that my phone was qualified for it. And if the exchange doesn’t work for phones with damage, and it doesn’t work for phones without damage, how do you qualify!?”

Representative: “…a $100 credit will be applied to your account.”

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Shurikens On Aisle Three

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Working | October 10, 2013

(My boss’ office is out by the back dock, at the end of a narrow corridor covered by security cameras that are viewed in the office. I’m walking down this corridor to ask her a question.)

Me: *sticks head in door* “Hey, boss—”

(My boss screams and whips her head around.)

Boss: “Don’t do that!”

Me: “What?”

Boss: “Don’t scare me like that! I didn’t know you were coming!”

Me: “What do you mean? There are cameras down the whole corridor!”

Boss: “I didn’t hear you coming! Admit it; you’re a ninja!”

Me: “…yes boss, I’m a ninja. Now, about aisle three…”

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