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Mom Is Bugging Out

| Right | October 10, 2013

Clerks

| UT, USA | Working | October 10, 2013

(I hear an exchange between two employees in a DVD rental store.)

Clerk #1: *yells across the store* “Hey dude, any idea when the new Thor movie comes out?”

Clerk #2: *yells so the entire store can hear* “How the f*** should I know? I hate movies!”

Doing Irreparable Damage

| ON, Canada | Working | October 10, 2013

(My cell phone’s ear piece has stopped working. I take it to a kiosk for the company, where they proclaim it broken, and tell me the free way to exchange it. Later, I get a $100 warranty charge on my bill.)

Me: “Hi, I’m calling about the $100 charge on my bill? I was told there was no charge if I returned the phone.”

Representative: “Well, our records indicate that we never got the phone.”

Me: “Really? Because I used the packaging and shipping label you sent me, and shipped it back within the week.”

Representative: “Oh, wait, the warehouse did get it. But there was no damage, so we charged you.”

Me: “The ear piece was broken. I couldn’t use it as a phone! And a rep at one of your kiosks told me it was broken!”

Representative: “Oh, wait, there was damage. And that’s why we charged you.”

Me: “Wait, so the kiosk lied? I was told that as long as I returned the phone, there was no fee. They told me about the exchange, and that my phone was qualified for it. And if the exchange doesn’t work for phones with damage, and it doesn’t work for phones without damage, how do you qualify!?”

Representative: “…a $100 credit will be applied to your account.”

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Shurikens On Aisle Three

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Working | October 10, 2013

(My boss’ office is out by the back dock, at the end of a narrow corridor covered by security cameras that are viewed in the office. I’m walking down this corridor to ask her a question.)

Me: *sticks head in door* “Hey, boss—”

(My boss screams and whips her head around.)

Boss: “Don’t do that!”

Me: “What?”

Boss: “Don’t scare me like that! I didn’t know you were coming!”

Me: “What do you mean? There are cameras down the whole corridor!”

Boss: “I didn’t hear you coming! Admit it; you’re a ninja!”

Me: “…yes boss, I’m a ninja. Now, about aisle three…”

Going Red About The Green

| NJ, USA | Working | October 10, 2013

(My mom decides to get pies from the bakery around the corner. When she gets home, my mom decides to take a peek at the pumpkin pie, and discovers that the entire surface is a sickly shade of green. Needless to say, she goes to return it.)

My Mom: “Hi, I’d like to return this pie.”

Cashier: “Sure, what seems to be the issue?”

(My mom opens the box and shows it to the cashier, and the cashier flies into a rage.)

Cashier: “That’s not one of our pies!”

My Mom: “I assure you it is. I ordered it here.”

Cashier: “THAT’S NOT ONE OF OUR PIES! YOU BOUGHT THAT SOMEWHERE ELSE AND YOU’RE TRYING TO GET A REFUND HERE! I’LL SHOW YOU ONE OF OUR PIES!”

(The cashier comes out of the back with a box, and without looking at it, opens it, and shoves it into my mom’s face.)

Cashier: “SEE? THIS IS WHAT OUR PIES LOOK LIKE!”

(The cashier notices my mom’s incredulous expression, because she flips over the box, only to find an identical, green pie staring back at her. Needless to say, we don’t get pies there any more.)

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