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She’s At That (Orphan)Age, Part 3

| Lancaster, PA, USA | Related | October 11, 2013

(I am three years old. My mom takes me shopping at one of the big department stores. They have a cafeteria downstairs and clothing on the second floor. While my mom is shopping, I wander off. She searches frantically for me and finally finds me in the cafeteria surrounded by people and candy, eating ice cream. My only excuse is I really love ‘Little Orphan Annie.’)

Me: “Yes, I’m an orphan. My orphan house mother is so mean. We never get candy and she never lets us sing…”

(It takes a little convincing on my mother’s part to make them believe I am lying. I like to think she eventually forgave me.)

Related:
He’s At That (Orphan)Age, Part 2
He’s At The (Orphan)Age

A Chore Way To Get It Done

| Tulsa, OK, USA | Related | October 11, 2013

(The family is getting ready to watch TV. My mom is talking to my brother about his chores.)

Mom: “[Brother’s Name], what did I tell you to do?”

Brother: “Umm…”

Mom: “Check the time on the laundry, and check on your sister.”

Me: “I know my favorite way of checking on [Sister’s Name].”

(Without missing a beat, my brother starts bellowing at the top of his voice.)

Brother: “HEY! [SISTER’S NAME]?!”

Sister: *shouting back* “YES?”

Brother: “It’s good; she is alive.”

72 Cats

| Romantic | October 11, 2013

funny-relationship-status-cat-lady

Flirting With Disaster

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Romantic | October 11, 2013

Girlfriend: “My pants won’t stay up.”

Me: “Stop flirting with me, you minx.”

Girlfriend: “If that’s flirting, I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”

Putting Things Into A Loving Con-Text

| FL, USA | Romantic | October 11, 2013

(My boyfriend and I have been together for five years now, and have been long distance for the last two. I have had a really rough weekend, and have been pretty depressed and emotional recently. We always text each other to say good morning. This morning, I am also feeling sick. I have gone to the bathroom at work, where I check my phone to see his ‘good morning’ message.)

Boyfriend: “Good morning, my love! How was your sleep? I hope it was long and restful! I love you so so much, and I can’t wait to talk to you later! You are awesome! I think you ‘rules’ the hardest. I hope your day is wonderful! One day, I’ll tell you all these things first thing in the morning in our bed. ”

(The last part makes me start crying in the bathroom at work. It makes my day.)

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