Archive for 2013

Jump to page:

A Novel Way To Change The Subject

| BC, Canada | Related | October 11, 2013

(I am reading a very large omnibus edition of the comic ‘Echo.’)

Aunt: “What are you reading?”

Me: “Well, this woman here witnessed a military accident, and she sort of gets superpowers. The government is trying to track her down.”

Aunt: “Oh, neat.”

(I turn to the next page, which features a different character.)

Aunt: “Wait, is that her? She looks different.”

Me: “No, that’s someone else.”

Aunt: “Oh, so the first story is over and now it’s another one.?”

Me: “…no, it’s the same story; it’s just a different character now.”

Aunt: “What?”

Me: “The panel is just focussing on someone else. It’s still the same story.”

Aunt: “Oh, I get it; it’s a flashback.”

Me: “No. The first character’s name is Julie. This is Ivy.”

Aunt: “Well, what happened to Julie?”

Me: “You know how in a movie, the camera won’t always be looking right at the main character, and we’ll sometimes go see other characters and what they’re doing? It’s like that.”

Aunt: “Is that what makes it a graphic novel instead of a comic book?”

(To this day, I am not sure whether she was genuinely uncertain about the topic, or whether she wanted me to put the book down and talk to her about school, which is what I ended up doing.)

She’s At That (Orphan)Age, Part 3

| Lancaster, PA, USA | Related | October 11, 2013

(I am three years old. My mom takes me shopping at one of the big department stores. They have a cafeteria downstairs and clothing on the second floor. While my mom is shopping, I wander off. She searches frantically for me and finally finds me in the cafeteria surrounded by people and candy, eating ice cream. My only excuse is I really love ‘Little Orphan Annie.’)

Me: “Yes, I’m an orphan. My orphan house mother is so mean. We never get candy and she never lets us sing…”

(It takes a little convincing on my mother’s part to make them believe I am lying. I like to think she eventually forgave me.)

Related:
He’s At That (Orphan)Age, Part 2
He’s At The (Orphan)Age

A Chore Way To Get It Done

| Tulsa, OK, USA | Related | October 11, 2013

(The family is getting ready to watch TV. My mom is talking to my brother about his chores.)

Mom: “[Brother’s Name], what did I tell you to do?”

Brother: “Umm…”

Mom: “Check the time on the laundry, and check on your sister.”

Me: “I know my favorite way of checking on [Sister’s Name].”

(Without missing a beat, my brother starts bellowing at the top of his voice.)

Brother: “HEY! [SISTER’S NAME]?!”

Sister: *shouting back* “YES?”

Brother: “It’s good; she is alive.”

72 Cats

| Romantic | October 11, 2013

funny-relationship-status-cat-lady

Flirting With Disaster

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Romantic | October 11, 2013

Girlfriend: “My pants won’t stay up.”

Me: “Stop flirting with me, you minx.”

Girlfriend: “If that’s flirting, I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”

Page 382/1,566First...380381382383384...Last