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Their Signature Problem

| Chicago, IL, USA | Working | October 11, 2013

(The cashier has just given me my total for my purchases. I swipe my credit card and sign the electronic screen. She looks at the signature on the screen and informs me that she needs to see my card and identification since the signature is not clear. She asks me to sign it again and as I hand her my driver’s license, I sign the screen a second time.)

Cashier: “I cannot make out your signature. You need to sign it again.”

Me: “Why? You have my ID in your hand. The names match and the picture is definitely me.”

Cashier: “Well, I cannot read your signature. It doesn’t really match.”

Me: *joking with her* “Those crazy machines never allow anyone to properly write their signature on them. Can I have my receipt and cards back please?”

Cashier: *dead serious* “Not until your signature matches your ID.”

Me: “Are you kidding me? You have my ID that proves who I am. What more do you need?”

Cashier: *looking at my ID again* “You do realize that your signature isn’t very legible on your ID either, don’t you?”

Me: “Yes, I know. I do that on purpose because it’s harder to forge a messy signature. My husband was in the military and was told to always write a signature messy since it’s easier to forge a neat signature.”

Cashier: “You really should get your ID redone with a neater signature.”

Me: “Um… that is my signature. It’s how I write. Just give me my stuff now, please.”

Cashier: “I can’t until I get a proper signature. You aren’t worth my job.”

Me: “Can I see your manager? I have signed it twice and you have my ID.”

Cashier: *rolling her eyes* “Fine.” *calls manager*

Manager: “What’s the problem?”

Cashier: “This customer has signed the thing twice. The signature doesn’t match the card or the ID, and she won’t sign it again.”

Manager: “But you have her ID; it matches the name on the card, and the picture is her. That should be the end of it. Those machines never allow someone to write it clearly. Just give her the cards back and her purchase.”

Cashier: “Well, it’s not worth losing my job over.”

Manager: *raising voice a little* “There is no problem here. Just give her the stuff and complete the transaction!”

Cashier: *rolling her eyes again* “Fine! But I better not be fired if it comes up as ID theft!”

Manager: *grabbing the receipt, cards, and bag from the cashier and handing them to me* “I’m sorry, miss. Have a nice day.”

Me: “Thank you. Hopefully, I won’t have this problem next time.”

Manager: “I assure you that you won’t.”

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So Hot You Get Fired

| Working | October 11, 2013

GTFO

| Related | October 11, 2013

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A Quiet Afternoon Is In The Cards

| OR, USA | Related | October 11, 2013

(I’m standing at the stove cooking, when my six-year-old daughter approaches me. She holds up a piece of paper on which she has pre-written statements.)

Daughter: *first paper* “Is it time for lunch?”

Me: “Not quite. What are you doing?”

Daughter: *next paper* “I’ve decided to use cards.”

Me: “And why have you decided that?”

Daughter: *flips the paper over* “…so you guys can always have quiet from me!”

Me: “Honey, you don’t have to be quiet all the time!”

Daughter: *next paper* “…also, my throat hurts.”

(I crack up; she has answers for everything!)

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A Novel Way To Change The Subject

| BC, Canada | Related | October 11, 2013

(I am reading a very large omnibus edition of the comic ‘Echo.’)

Aunt: “What are you reading?”

Me: “Well, this woman here witnessed a military accident, and she sort of gets superpowers. The government is trying to track her down.”

Aunt: “Oh, neat.”

(I turn to the next page, which features a different character.)

Aunt: “Wait, is that her? She looks different.”

Me: “No, that’s someone else.”

Aunt: “Oh, so the first story is over and now it’s another one.?”

Me: “…no, it’s the same story; it’s just a different character now.”

Aunt: “What?”

Me: “The panel is just focussing on someone else. It’s still the same story.”

Aunt: “Oh, I get it; it’s a flashback.”

Me: “No. The first character’s name is Julie. This is Ivy.”

Aunt: “Well, what happened to Julie?”

Me: “You know how in a movie, the camera won’t always be looking right at the main character, and we’ll sometimes go see other characters and what they’re doing? It’s like that.”

Aunt: “Is that what makes it a graphic novel instead of a comic book?”

(To this day, I am not sure whether she was genuinely uncertain about the topic, or whether she wanted me to put the book down and talk to her about school, which is what I ended up doing.)

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