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The Blessing Becomes A Curse

| Working | October 12, 2013

Making Humor Disappear

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Related | October 12, 2013

(I am at the local renaissance fair with my sister and her husband. We are watching a magic show.)

Magician: “For my next trick I will be using a prop. I have here a box with two holes.”

Me: “So do I.”

Sister: *face-palm*

Everyone Around Me: *hysterical laughter*

The First Rule Of Eat Club

| Italy | Related | October 12, 2013

(My five-year-old daughter eats at a painfully slow pace, so in order to speed things at the table we usually create ‘eating contests.’ This time, she wants to start one.)

Daughter: “Let’s have a contest!”

Me: “Okay then. Ready… set—”

Daughter: “No! Wait! I have to tell the rules first!”

Me: “Sure, go on.”

Daughter: “Okay. So… the first one, ah… is that there are three rules!”

Me: “Sounds reasonable. Rule number two?”

Daughter: “Rule number two: rule number two is… that everyone must follow the three rules!”

Me: “Wilco. Now, rule number three?”

Daughter: “Rule number three… is that if you don’t follow the three rules you will be disqualified!”

Bending Over Backwards For Her

| CA, USA | Romantic | October 12, 2013

(My boyfriend is about to go to school, and I’m sitting on the bed. He and I have about a foot difference in height.)

Me: “I want a cuddle!”

Boyfriend: “Heh, sure.” *bends down to embrace me*

Me: “Yes, that’s right. Bend to my will!”

Can You Smell The Love Tonight, Part 7

| WA, USA | Romantic | October 12, 2013

(My boyfriend and I are cuddling.)

Boyfriend: *lets out a huge fart* “Sorry.”

Me: *lets out an equally large fart* “I’m not.”


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