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One Ring To Scare Them All

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Right | October 12, 2013

(I am working in a gift shop full of customers, mostly teenagers on field trips and their chaperones. I notice four boys as they walk in, and I greet them. They do not respond. A few minutes later, I begin adjusting some misplaced personalized rings.)

Boy #1: *pointing to a ring I am adjusting* “AAAHHH!”

Me: “Yes?”

Boy #1: *points again* “AAAAHHHH!”


Me: “Alright, how may I help you? Is there something I can get for you?”


Me: “Uh, okay…I can call somebody to help you.”

(The four boys stare at me, then slink away towards the door, almost without a word.)

Boy #3: “AAAAAHHH!” *all four exit*

(Several minutes later, all of the customers have left my shop and I begin adjusting the rings and key-chains again. I hear a voice behind me.)

Boy #4: “Uh, excuse me?”

Me: *turning around* “Yes?”

Boy #4: “Yes, I was wondering if you could tell me if—AAAAAHHH!” *bolts from the store*

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The End Is Nigh-Phone

| TX, USA | Right | October 12, 2013

(An elderly customer calls our shop trying to find out if we have another location that is close enough to his address to deliver to him. I grab one of the menus with our locations and phone numbers on it to assist him, since we can’t access the internet in the store.)

Caller: “I’m in [town an hour south of us].”

Me: “Okay, well we have a shop in [town just north of him].”

Caller: “No, no, I already called them! They said it was too far!”

Me: “Oh, alright, sorry about that. The next location I’m showing here is in [big city even further south].”

Caller: “I ain’t going into the city!”

Me: “Okay. Well, the next thing we could try is if you have access to a computer; you can go on our website and it will be able calculate from your address—”

Caller: “I ain’t got one of those d*** computers, and I have no desire for one either.”

Me: “Um, okay, well—”

Caller: “Because when the end comes, I’m gonna be sitting back in my house laughing and watching all the chaos while everyone else goes crazy because your iPhones don’t work no more!”

Me: “Okay…”

Caller: “Well thanks anyway for your help, and you think about what I said, missy.” *hangs up*

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Named And Shamed

| Right | October 12, 2013

Taxing Faxing, Part 12

| IL, USA | Working | October 12, 2013

(One of my duties where I work is to process the legal paperwork with new employees. We tell every person we hire to bring in their social security card and photo ID when they bring their paperwork back.)

Employee: “Hi! I brought my paperwork back!”

Me: “Great! Now, if I could just get your social security card and photo ID to make some quick photocopies, we’ll get started with this.”

Employee: “Oh, I brought in some copies of those for you. Here you go.”

Me: “Actually, we can’t use copies. We need the original documents.”

Employee: “Why? You said you wanted to make copies, so I brought you copies!”

Me: “I understand that, but for security reasons, we have to see the original documents to make our own copies from. We can’t just take copies that someone brings in, since we can’t really verify their authenticity.”

Employee: “Well, I don’t have them! And I don’t have the time to go home and come back here later today with them! So I guess you’re going to tell me we have to reschedule now?!”

Me: “No, not at all. We can still go over your paperwork today and make sure everything else is filled out correctly. However, you won’t actually be able to start working until you bring in your original social Security card and ID for us to make copies for our files.”

Employee: *sighs* “Fine! But I don’t see what the big deal is. I really don’t want to make another trip here just for that!”

Me: “I understand, but that is why we told you when we gave the paperwork to you that we would need the original documents.”

Employee: “Whatever! Hey, would it be all right if I just faxed them to you, so I don’t have to make the extra trip?”

Me: “Um… no… We can’t accept a fax.”

Employee: “Why not!? I’d be sending you the originals, not a copy!”


A Slight Hiccup

| NC, USA | Working | October 12, 2013

(I have just gotten off of my lunch break, and have taken over at the front desk. I am selling tickets to a lady from out of town.)

Me: “Alright, your total comes to—” *belches in her face*

(The customer starts laughing and I turn bright red.)

Me: “Oh my God! I am so sorry. I just got off lunch!”

Customer: “I can tell! Was it at least a good lunch?”

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