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Hide And Eek

| CA, USA | Romantic | October 14, 2013

(My girlfriend and I are both women, and are kissing and cuddling in my bedroom before I take a shower. I grab my things and begin to leave the room, only to remember that my girlfriend is in no way decent, and can be seen from the hall. We are temporarily living at my parents’ place.)

Me: “S***! Hon, find a place to hide so I can get out of here.”

Girlfriend: “Like where?”

Me: “Um… the closet! Just go in there!”

Girlfriend: “Wait… you’re putting me back in the closet?!”

Me: “You can come out in a few seconds! Just hang on!”

(I bolt out of the bedroom and then realize the joke, so I shout behind me.)

Me: “You can come out of the closet now, love!”

Rounding Numbers And Grounding Kids

| Norwich, CT, USA | Learning | October 14, 2013

(I’m in geometry. We are talking about exact definitions and how important they are to geometry.)

Teacher: “I’m going to tell you a story about when I was a teen. One time, I went out with my friends. I asked my parents how late I was allowed to stay out. They said 12:00. I asked if I could come home at quarter of 12. They were shocked, and said yes. I came home around 2:30.”

(Several students, including myself, begin wondering where this is going.)

Teacher: “They were mad. I said ‘What? You said I could be home at quarter of 12.’ The response was ‘IT’S 2:30!’ I responded ‘Yeah, quarter of 12. What is one-fourth of 12?’

(Everyone in the class realizes the trick he played. We stare in awe.)

Me: “Did it work?”

Teacher: “Once. Feel free to try it; just don’t tell them it was me who taught you.”

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Ignorance Like This Is Hard To Beat

, | USA | Learning | October 14, 2013

(I am a student employee in one of the cafeterias in my university campus. I make omelets made to order. We offer the option regular eggs or egg whites.)

Student: “Miss, I’d like an omelet, but I’m vegan.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but omelets are basically egg pancakes with veggies, meat, and cheese stuffed in them.”

Student: “Don’t you have Egg Beaters?”

Me: “We actually do in the back, but it contains egg whites. Do you still want me to make you that?”

Student: “No it doesn’t!”

(I run and grab a box from the fridge in the back.)

Me: “Yes, it does. See on the box? Egg whites are on the ingredient label.”

Student: “Oh, holy f***.” *walks away*

Me: *to coworker* “That was weird.”

Coworker: “I’m still laughing at ‘egg pancake.'”

Lack Of Knowledge Is Very Very Frightening

| MD, USA | Learning | October 14, 2013

(I’m in physics class, learning about acceleration. One of the questions on our test, which we’re taking at the time, has the answer of Galileo. The teacher is walking around the room, watching the class, and singing quietly to himself.)

Teacher:I see a little silhouetto of a man. Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the fandango?

(I quickly catch onto what he’s doing and write down the right answer as he keeps singing the song, skipping the name.)

Student: *raises hand* “Um, what’s the answer to number two?”

Teacher: “Seriously? After the singing and everything?”

Student: “…what?”

Me: “It’s Bohemian Rhapsody, for God’s sake!”

(There’s a pause, and no one seems to understand what that has to do with anything.)


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2 Days Before Deadline

| Learning | October 14, 2013


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