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Imagine All The People, Listening In Harmony

| Chicago, IL, USA | Related | October 14, 2013

(It is before Google and Wikipedia are the go-to answers for everything. For a music class, I am supposed to create a taped recording of my research essay and have bits of the artist’s songs play at intervals. My topic is John Lennon.)

Me: “Dad, which of The Beatles is the lead singer for ‘Let it Be?'”

Dad: “Is this for your Lennon project?”

Me: “Yeah. I like the solo in the middle, but I don’t want to play a Paul song by mistake.”

Dad: “Make sure you include something about how important Lennon’s music was during the war years.”

Me: “I have in the essay. But I need to know—”

Dad: “You know Lennon’s music had some major influence in how public opinion swayed during the Vietnam War.”

Me: “Yep. But I just—”

Dad: “You should use ‘Imagine.’ That is hands-down one of the most influential songs ever written. No doubt about that.”

Me: “I was planning that during the section on his solo years. But I just want to know who sings—”

Dad: “I actually heard of a cover of ‘Imagine’ on the radio the other day. A cover! No respect for a classic!”

Mom: *trying to talk over my dad* “Didn’t you look up The Beatles catalogue in your research?”

Me: “It only said it’s written by Lennon and McCartney.”

Dad: “‘Give Peace a Chance!’ A message we all still need to heed today!”

Me: “Uh huh. I’ll settle for give listening a chance.”

Cats And Failed Relationships

| Romantic | October 14, 2013

Number-of-cats

Needs Medicine (Breaking) Bad

| NY, USA | Romantic | October 14, 2013

(My wife is flying to Rome on business, and hasn’t been feeling great. She takes medicine to clear her sinuses before her flight.)

Wife: “Man, the real Sudafed has made me slightly jittery. It has, however, cleared my head RIGHT OUT. So I’m grateful.”

Me: “Good, especially right before a flight. I hope the Sudafed will make it through customs.”

Wife: “Oh, it’s fine. It’s perfectly legal and over-the-counter in Europe.”

Me: “Ah, yes, they don’t make crystal meth.”

Wife: “I think meth is a particularly American drug.”

Me: “So now we have jazz and meth as purely American things!”

Wife: “America #1!”

Assumption Gumption

| Galveston, TX, USA | Romantic | October 14, 2013

(My husband and I have been discussing something, and I make an assumption.)

Husband: “You know what they say about assuming something; it makes an a** out of you—”

Me: “—and me!” *I pause for a second* “No, wait…”

Insert Standard Title Here

| USA | Romantic | October 14, 2013

(I’m on Skype with my girlfriend, and I am not sure if some of my sentences make sense. Additionally, I’ve been reading hundreds of pages of ‘Not Always Romantic.’)

Me: “…for some logical fallacies that might have occurred, I blame tiredness and Not Always Romantic.”

Girlfriend:Not Always Romantic is your standard-setting, my dear.”

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