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A Trifle Concerned

| Des Moines, IA, USA | Romantic | October 15, 2013

Me: “Hey! We should stop at that park and pick some crabapples. I want to eat them.”

Boyfriend: “You can’t eat crabapples.”

Me: “No! You totally can! I read about it on an urban foraging blog. You can make them into relishes and jelly.”

Boyfriend: “You could eat poop but that doesn’t make it a good idea.” *pondering look* “Though I suppose you couldn’t make poop jelly.”

Me: “I could make poop jelly. You can make anything into jelly if you add enough fruit pectin and sugar.”

Boyfriend: *horrified look*

Be My Tom-Boyfriend

| France | Romantic | October 15, 2013

(I am female. I have three sisters, but I’m a bit of a tomboy.)

Boyfriend: “Your father didn’t need a boy; he had you. That’s why I love you.”

Me: “Do you?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, you’re like a guy but with no penis!”

Me: “That would be the perfect woman?”

Boyfriend: “Totally!”

Waiting For A Miracle

| Romantic | October 15, 2013

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Avengers Disassemble

| San Jose, CA, USA | Romantic | October 15, 2013

(I’m chatting with my friend online, after we have both just finished watching and discussing the new ‘Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D’, when I decide to change the subject.)

Me: “Did I tell you about the super cute guy I met?”

Friend: “No, but I’m sure he’s not Asgardian.”

Me: “I would hope not; I’d much prefer a cyborg. I might try to take him apart though. I think that would probably put a damper in the relationship.”

Friend: “Just maybe.”

Me: “Only if I don’t figure out how to put him back together after.”

Friend: “We’re joking about dissecting a guy you just met, by the way.”

Me: “Not dissecting, disassembling!”

Friend: “Because that’s better?”

Me: “It is! Much less gooey.”

Gets The Principle Of Bullying

| Edo. de México, Mexico | Learning | October 15, 2013

(I am a very quiet and passive kid, which makes me a target of bullies. We have an event outside the classroom before physics class, and one of the kids is bothering me. The teacher comes out to announce that it is time to return to class.)

Teacher: “Go ahead kids; I’ll catch up in a moment.”

(We all go to the classroom and, since we already have assigned work, start to solve it. After a few minutes, the teacher comes to the classroom and starts doing rounds and checking the students’ work. He comes to my desk.)

Teacher: “What’s this? You haven’t done anything in this time?”

(I am confused, as I have been working.)

Me: “What? I—”

Teacher: “No, no, I won’t allow this. You’re coming with me to see the principal.”

(He guides me outside, with me completely scared and confused. We reach the principal’s office.)

Teacher: “This is him.”

Principal: “Thank you.” *to me* “Your teacher here just told me you were getting bullied. Can you tell me more?”

(It turns out that my teacher’s act was to get me to the principal without the bullies thinking I was going to tattle on them! To this day I still hold that teacher in very high regard.)

Related:
Doesn’t Get The Principle Of Bullying

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