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Misogynist Versus Masochist

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Learning | October 16, 2013

(We are reading ‘The Taming of the Shrew.’ The Professor a fifty-something, balding, portly man is explaining how people interpret the play to be very misogynistic because it’s about a husband ‘taming’ his ‘savage’ wife. My professor asks us to think of a different reason for Petruchio’s behavior towards Kate.)

Student #1: “Maybe he’s just showing her how cruel she is by pretending to be her.”

Professor: “Maybe, but that would mean she would still be tamed in the end.”

Me: “Maybe he paid her to act that way.”

Professor: “A capitalist theory! Interesting! Does anyone have other ideas?”

Class: “…”

Professor: “No? Well I’ll share mine then. See, I thought this play actually was misogynist when I first read it. But a few years back, I developed another theory after reading a rather popular book. Has anyone ever heard of Fifty Shades of Grey?”

(The class mumbles replies and gives the professor strange looks.)

Professor: “For those who don’t know, it’s a Twilight-esque romance with a BDSM twist. But after reading it, I started to wonder maybe Kate liked being ‘tamed.’ It makes sense doesn’t it? Doesn’t her speech about the perfect wife sound like she is describing a slave? And once she finished, what did Petruchio do?”

Student #2: “He dragged her to bed!”

Professor: “Straight to bed! Kate’s speech got them both so hot and bothered, that they left the room the minute she finished!”

Student #1: “Holy crap.”

Me: “It actually makes sense.”

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Time To Assay The Essay Situation

| England, UK | Learning | October 16, 2013

(My biology class, and the four other biology classes in our year, have been asked to write a 500-word essay by the head of biology, who we see once a week.)

(3rd week of September:)

Biology Teacher: “Okay, so if you all hand in your microscopy essays to me now, I should have them marked for your next lesson.”

(4th week of September:)

Biology Teacher: “So, I forgot that I have five biology classes worth of essays to mark, so your essays will be a little longer.”

(Last week before Christmas:)

Biology Teacher: “Okay, I’m going to spend this whole holiday marking, so I promise you’ll have your essays back to you in January.”


Biology Teacher: “I know that some of you are upset that this is taking so long, but I swear to you, you will have your marks for these essays back before your exams so you can use them to revise.”

(It is now June, which is three weeks after the biology exams, and we are in our last lesson before the summer begins.)

Biology Teacher: “Guess who’s finally marked your essays? There’s just one catch: I might have lost half of them.”

Classmate: “What took you so long marking them then?”

Biology Teacher: “You can’t expect me to mark essays! I deal in science, not WORDS.”

(I am reliably informed that the next year’s biology classes won’t have to write any essays.)

Need To Spell It Out For Her

| Oakwood, GA, USA | Learning | October 16, 2013

(I am a librarian at a small college. Part of my job entails helping people with the computers in the library.)

Student: “Are you any good at typing?”

Me: “I guess so, why?”

Student: “Can you come help me with this?”

(I follow her to the computer where she has a typing test that is part of a job application up on the screen. She doesn’t sit back down.)

Me: “What’s the problem?”

(The student looks at me blankly.)

Me: “I can’t take a typing test for you.”

Student: “Oh… why?”

Er-Aunt Behavior

| Learning | October 16, 2013

Did I Say Something Wrong?

| Learning | October 16, 2013

You're Not Wrong

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