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Requires More (Water) Proof

| USA | Right | October 16, 2013

(It’s raining out. I am watching the rain through the window and notice a guy on his cell phone. Then I see him shake his head and look at his phone. He looks up and sees my store and starts heading in.)

Customer: “My phone just stopped working! I need my phone. I was on a business call and it just stopped working!”

Me: “Maybe it got wet and has water damage. Let me—”

Customer: “I have never gotten my phone wet! It does not have any water damage!”

Me: “Sir, I just saw you talking on your phone in the pouring rain.”

Customer: “So what?! Rain isn’t going to water damage a phone!”

Me: “Sir, rain is water. If I may see your—”

Customer: “You don’t know what you’re talking about! I guess I’ll have to go somewhere else to get service!”

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Aging Badly

| Exeter, England, UK | Right | October 16, 2013

(I work in a cinema. One evening on my break, I see my husband’s 13-year-old cousin hanging around outside. I have a feeling that she’s trying to get into a 15-rated film, so when I go back on shift, I tell everybody else I know she’s under 15. She eventually goes to my manager’s till, so I go over.)

Me: “Don’t sell her a ticket to Silent Hill. She’s my husband’s cousin; I know she’s 13.”

Manager: “Okay, thanks.”

(My cousin approaches. She doesn’t seem to recognize me.)

Cousin: “I’d like tickets for Silent Hill, please.”

Manager: “I’m afraid you cannot get a ticket for the film. You are not over 15.”

Cousin: “What the f***?! I’m f****** 15; don’t f****** listen to her! What the f*** does she know? I want to watch the f****** film!”

Manager: “You’re not old enough to watch it; we know you’re not. Can you move to the side, so I can serve someone else?”

Cousin: “F*** you! You don’t know s***! I’m watching the f****** film!”

(My manager goes to my cousin’s friends, who are waiting to the side.)

Manager: “I’m happy for you guys to watch the film; you’ve got your ID with you, so it’s fine. Your friend can’t watch the film because she’s not old enough.” *to my husband’s cousin* “I’m asking you to leave, and to stop swearing.”

Cousin: “I’m not f****** swearing!”

Manager: “Or I can call the police to have you removed? Choice is yours.”

(She hasn’t stepped foot in the cinema since. That Christmas, she came round to my husband’s parents’ house while we were there. As soon as she saw me, she practically fled the room, because the penny finally dropped!)

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I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 12

| Natchitoches, LA, USA | Right | October 16, 2013

(I’m browsing the yarn section of a well-known big box retailer. There is another customer, a middle-aged man, slowly making his way down the aisle.)

Customer: *stands next to me and clears his throat*

Me: *takes two steps to the right* “Sorry I’m in the way, hon. I don’t know what colors I want.”

Customer: “Hmph! Well, that’s not my problem, is it? Where are the iron-on patches?”

Me: *gestures* “On the other aisle over there with the sewing notions.”

Customer: “Hmph! I meant for you to show me exactly where to find them!”

(At this point, I remember I’m wearing the jacket for my job, which is the same color as the shirts and jackets this store’s employees wear.)

Me: “Oh!” *I point at my store’s logo on the front of my jacket* “I don’t work here! I work at [Convenience Store] in Robeline. I only know where they are because I sew. I don’t use those, though, as I’d rather sew a patch. There are sew-on patches over there, too.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me and don’t try to change the subject! Your jacket is the same color as the other employees’ jackets!”

Me: “Honey, I work for [Convenience Store], not [Retailer].” *I point at the logo again* “See? Completely different logo.”

Customer: “Don’t you ‘honey’ me, you brat! If you were my kid I’d tan your hide! The trouble with you kids these days is that you don’t respect your elders!”

Me: “First off, I am NOT a child! I am twenty-four years old, which means I am a grown woman. Second, I have already told you that I don’t work here and showed you proof of the fact. Third, the d***ed patches you’re looking for are one aisle over, next to the other sewing notions, and they’re right in plain sight! If you can’t find them, that’s your problem, not mine!”

(The customer storms off muttering about disrespectful employees. When I go to check-out later, I find myself at the end of the line in the same lane as him and notice that he has the iron-on patches.)

Me: *loudly* “Glad to have been of service, sir!”

Customer: *to his cashier* “I’d like to know who to speak to so that I can report her! She was very rude to me earlier!”

Cashier: *chuckles* “Sir, she doesn’t work here. She works at [Convenience Store]. I see her there all the time when I’m passing through.”

Customer: “You’re just covering for her! I’m going to take this to corporate!”

Cashier: “You have a good day, sir!”

Customer: *storms off with his bags*

 

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Refunder Blunder, Part 3

| CA, USA | Right | October 16, 2013

(I am working near the registers, but I am not currently on register. Our return policy is printed on every receipt in clear, bold lettering.)

Customer: “Hey, I wanna return this CD and get all my money back.”

Me: “Sure thing, just let me call someone over and they can help you out.”

(I call my manager over to do the return and I go back to work.)

Customer: “They had better give me all my money back, or I’ll cause trouble.”

Manager: “What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I wanna return this CD and get all my money back. Here is the receipt.”

Manager: “Alright, everything looks okay; can I see the item you want to return?”

(The customer hands over an unwrapped CD case.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, but I can only give you a refund on unopened merchandise. If the disk wasn’t playing I can replace it for you though.”

Customer: “No, you’re gonna give me all my money back, or I’m gonna file a lawsuit.”

Manager: “Go ahead and file a lawsuit. I don’t care. The return policy is on the receipt, and clearly says items must be unopened in their original packaging in order to be returned for a refund.”

Customer: “No, it doesn’t say that. Where does it say that?” *looks at his receipt* “D***.” *walks out*

 

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Most Just Sale Through Their Inbox

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Working | October 16, 2013

(I’m at a board games convention, where a number of retailers have stalls. I go to one who is a franchisee of a parent company.)

Me: “I’d like to buy [Game], please.”

Seller: “Sure. It’s $90.00.”

Me: “On your email, it says it’s $65, on sale.”

Seller: “That’s only a one-day sale. You’ve missed it.”

Me: *opening the email on my phone* “No, it says it’s all week.”

Seller: “Oh. But it’s only on the online store.”

Me: “The email doesn’t indicate that. See, here’s the dates the sale is available for, and here’s the large colorful banner saying to come and see you at the convention for these sale prices.”

Seller: *shocked* “But… but no one ever reads the emails. Ever.”

Me: “I do. Do I need to contact your parent company and explain that you aren’t giving people the correct price?”

Seller: *panicked* “No. Here’s the game for $65, and I’ll give you any expansions for half price.”

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