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Doesn’t Have The Math Jeans

| USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

(A customer is trying to exchange a pair of jeans. My coworker notices he will be getting some money back.)

Coworker: “Sir, this pair of jeans is less than the pair you bought earlier, so I will give you the cash back.”

Customer: “That’s it! Give me my d*** pants back! I don’t want to deal with this s*** anymore!”

(My coworker looks stunned at the guy’s outburst.)

Coworker: “But sir, you’ll be getting money back!”

Customer: “I don’t care! Just give me my d*** pants back! Or explain it to me; I don’t understand this!”

Coworker: “Well sir, this pair—”

Customer: “Just give me the d*** pants! You guys always do s*** like this; you just lost a good customer!”

(The customer grabs the pants and storms towards the doors. As he leaves, a second customer stars applauding, and yells after him.)

Customer #2: “Sure doesn’t sound like it!”

So Slow It Hertz, Part 2

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Technology

(I’m working box office today, and it’s been a really long, busy day. After so many hours, the registers sometimes lag a bit during transactions. We’re finally slowing down a bit, and the lines are pretty much gone.)

Me: “Alright, so you wanted two tickets for Silver Linings Playbook?”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

(I hit the buttons for her tickets, but the computer freezes up a bit.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. My computer is being slow right now.”

Customer: *gasps* “You take that back!”

Me: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “Everyone knows ‘slow’ is not politically correct! Your computer is ‘mentally impaired’!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s a computer…”

Customer: “And I suppose next you’ll say it’s retarded?! You people are so insensitive; it makes me sick!”

(I’m speechless, so I hand her the tickets as quickly as possible.)

Me: “E-enjoy your show.”

(She takes the tickets and shakes her head, glaring at me, before walking away. The next customer comes up to me.)

Customer #2: “What the heck was she going on about?”

Me: “I don’t know, but apparently my computer is mentally impaired and not slow.”

Related:
So Slow It Hertz

Time And Relative Dimensions In Cyberspace

| London, England, UK | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(Part of my job involves managing the helpdesk for an online research panel. Because the panel is made of just two daily surveys, panelists receive a survey reminder every morning. I take a call from a panelist.)

Panelist: “You’re sending me too many emails! I’m getting two every morning!”

Me: “Alright, it sounds like you may have registered with us twice. Could I take your email address?”

(I look the panelist up by his email, and find that he has indeed registered again. This isn’t normally possible, because the system checks against name, email and address. I do notice one thing, though…)

Me: “Alright, looking at our system, I can see two accounts to your name. The reason you were able to register again is because your address doesn’t quite match between both accounts.”

Panelist: “Well how’s that possible? I haven’t moved anywhere!”

Me: “Well, on one account you put your address down as THE TARDIS.”