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Bit Off More Than She Could Chew

| USA | Learning | October 17, 2013

(I am in high school, but I look like I should be in middle school. People often call me ‘very cute’ when they first meet me. I also have a severe speech impediment, and because of this, it’s hard for me to voice my opinion with words. A new, very loud student has transferred into my history class, and when she comes in, she notices me almost immediately.)

New Girl: “Oh my gosh! Look at you; you’re so CUTE!”

Me: “Um, thanks…”

New Girl: “Oh, you’re just adorable! I could just eat you up!”

(She proceeds to reach forward and pinch my cheeks, HARD. Since I panic, and am unable to tell her to stop, I bite one of her hands.)

New Girl: “Ow! What the h*** was that for?!”

Me: “That hurt!”

New Girl: “I was just trying to be friendly! You didn’t have to bite me!”

Me: “Well, how would you like it if someone walked up and grabbed YOUR face?!”

(The teacher walks in.)

New Girl: “[Teacher’s Name]! She bit me!”

Teacher: “[My Name]?”

Me: “I only did it because she pinched my cheeks really hard.”

(I have red marks on my face where I was pinched, but the new girl has only a few faint marks on her hand where I bit her. From where the teacher is sitting, they probably aren’t even visible.)

Teacher: “Sit down, [New Girl]. [My Name], you know better than to bite new students. It’s a good thing you didn’t take her hand off like the last one.”

(Upon hearing this, the new girl slinks away to a seat on the other side of the room. I never had any problems with her after that, although she kept giving me dirty looks for the first week she was there!)

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Doesn’t Know The Drill

| FL, USA | Learning | October 17, 2013

(It is just before my ‘Introduction to Logic’ class starts. I am talking to two of my classmates.)

Me: “How are you two doing with the homework? Think you’re ready for the test next week?”

Classmate #1: “Oh, we’ve already gone through the first four sections. We should be fine.”

Me: “At least you’ve gotten that far. How have you been studying?”

Classmate #1: *nonchalant* “Well, [Classmate #2] and I have been drilling the methods into each other. I’ve been drilling him, and he’s been drilling me.”

(I break down into a fit of laughter.)

Classmate #1: “What’s so funny?”

Me: “Think about what you said there for a second.”

(Classmate #1 holds her mouth with both hands and blushes the brightest red. I start losing it again as another friend chimes in.)

Friend: “Well, at least we know what you’re into now!”

Classmate #1: “Oh, god! I’ll never need to wear blush ever again!”

Tic For Tac

| UK | Learning | October 17, 2013

(My school is very strict about classroom rules, so we are not allowed our phones or food in class. A student in my class is seen by my maths teacher passing Tic-Tacs in a lesson.)

Teacher: “[Student], what have you got there?”

Student: *nervously* “It’s a Tic-Tac.”

Teacher: *stern* “You had better come here—”

(The student walks up to the teacher’s desk, looking very worried.)

Teacher: “—because [Teacher] wants one!”

Dic-tutor

| Learning | October 17, 2013

Sea Of Electricity

| Right | October 16, 2013

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