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Hopefully For Him, Her Bark Is Worse Than Her Bite

| MA, USA | Romantic | October 17, 2013

(My boyfriend and I are having a drink at home. He used to be in the army.)

Boyfriend: “Would you like a refill?”

Me: “I was thinking about it. I’ll go get the Coke.”

Boyfriend: “I’ll get the Coke; you stay there.”

Me: “I really don’t mind getting up.”

Boyfriend: “STAY!”

Me: “You can’t give me a command like that! I’m not a soldier.”

Boyfriend: “That’s not the type of command I’d give a soldier. That’s the type of command I’d give a dog.”

Inside I Am Laughing

| AL, USA | Romantic | October 17, 2013

(I am talking with my friend over the phone while doing my assignment. He is in love with me, although I am still confused about my feelings for him. He is also the least romantic person on earth.)

Friend: “Hey, you know you are always inside me.”

Me: “What?”

Friend: “I created a folder on my desktop with my name. Inside that folder I created a folder with your name. So you are always inside me.”

Me: *into all smiles* “You are idiotically romantic sometimes!”

Now All They Need Is The Videotape

| UK | Romantic | October 17, 2013

Girlfriend: “If you lie to me, I will kill you.”

Me: *calling her bluff* “I hate you, and wish we’d never had this relationship.”

(All of a sudden, she starts kissing me all over.)

Me: “What are you doing?”

Girlfriend: “I’M KILLING YOU WITH LOVE!”

Ditches School

| Learning | October 17, 2013

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Bit Off More Than She Could Chew

| USA | Learning | October 17, 2013

(I am in high school, but I look like I should be in middle school. People often call me ‘very cute’ when they first meet me. I also have a severe speech impediment, and because of this, it’s hard for me to voice my opinion with words. A new, very loud student has transferred into my history class, and when she comes in, she notices me almost immediately.)

New Girl: “Oh my gosh! Look at you; you’re so CUTE!”

Me: “Um, thanks…”

New Girl: “Oh, you’re just adorable! I could just eat you up!”

(She proceeds to reach forward and pinch my cheeks, HARD. Since I panic, and am unable to tell her to stop, I bite one of her hands.)

New Girl: “Ow! What the h*** was that for?!”

Me: “That hurt!”

New Girl: “I was just trying to be friendly! You didn’t have to bite me!”

Me: “Well, how would you like it if someone walked up and grabbed YOUR face?!”

(The teacher walks in.)

New Girl: “[Teacher’s Name]! She bit me!”

Teacher: “[My Name]?”

Me: “I only did it because she pinched my cheeks really hard.”

(I have red marks on my face where I was pinched, but the new girl has only a few faint marks on her hand where I bit her. From where the teacher is sitting, they probably aren’t even visible.)

Teacher: “Sit down, [New Girl]. [My Name], you know better than to bite new students. It’s a good thing you didn’t take her hand off like the last one.”

(Upon hearing this, the new girl slinks away to a seat on the other side of the room. I never had any problems with her after that, although she kept giving me dirty looks for the first week she was there!)

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