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Future Technology

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Awesome Customers, Geeks Rule, Technology

Me: “Hi, my name is [name]; thank you for calling [company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’m calling because my internet is, uh, working… again. Huh.”

Me: “Well, I am prescient. I do usually try fix the problems before people call, but I am running behind today.”

Customer: “Dude, that’s awesome. Keep it up.”

(Later, we get an email about how “the tech who can see the future” should get a raise.)

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Stupid Laws Of Spacetime

| UK | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(I have been stuck in traffic for two hours due to a crash on the motorway.)

Customer: “MY ORDER IS OVER AN HOUR LATE!”

Me: “I am truly sorry; I was stuck in traffic on the motorway.”

Customer: “And you didn’t call!?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it is illegal to use a phone whilst in control of a motor vehicle.”

Customer: “I know that! I’m not stupid. Are you? Are you stupid?”

Me: “I’m sorry again, sir. If you call my supervisor, I’m sure they will reimburse you your delivery charge.”

Customer: “Are you ignoring my question on purpose? Are you stupid? Or are you just retarded like the rest of your colleagues?!”

Me: “No, sir, I’m not. I have a basic understanding of quantum physics and molecular biology. What do you have?”

Customer: “Uh…”

Me: “Good day, sir.”