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Autocorrects Get Your Panties In A Twist

| IA, USA | Related | October 17, 2013

(My grandma is texting my uncle about setting up for an event.)

Grandma: “We’ll have thongs ready at 11.”

Uncle: “Oh you get to wear thongs; sounds like it will be a fun night.”

Grandma: “No, THINGS not thongs. We don’t need to wear thongs!”

Good Use Of Bad Language

| Sweetwater, NJ, USA | Related | October 17, 2013

(My parents are having hardwood floors put down in the house. The carpenter is hammering the floor in. I am about three years old.)

Me: *walking out of my bedroom* “What is it with all the f****** noise?”

Carpenter: *stops mid hammer swing*

Mom: “[Name]! What did you say?”

Me: “Ugh! I *said*, ‘what’s with all the f****** noise?”

(I am quickly whisked away to be explained to that some words aren’t nice to say. Years later, Mom admitted that she had actually been a little proud that I used the word correctly!)

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Cry Again, Part 2

| Estonia | Related | October 17, 2013

(I am five years old, with my parents in the check out for our items. I notice a pack of candy with a surprise dinosaur toy on the nearby shelf.)

Me: “Mom, can I have this?”

Mom: “Ask your dad.”

Me: “Dad, can I have this?”

Dad: “No.”

Me: “Please?”

Dad: “No.”

Me: “Pleeeaaase!?”

Dad: “No.”

Me: “Please. Please. Pleeeaaase!?”

Dad: “Fine, but on one condition: if you can let out a tear right now.”

Me: “Okay!”

(A single tear runs down my cheek. I get the candy with the dinosaur toy. My parents and the cashier can’t stop laughing.)

Related:
If At First You Don’t Succeed, Cry Again

Relationships…

| Romantic | October 17, 2013

funny-relationships-poster

Heavy Handed Rejection

| CA, USA | Romantic | October 17, 2013

(I’m one of four girls in a weight-training PE class. A guy I hardly talk to comes up just as I finish my final set on a particular machine.)

Guy: “Hey [My Name], check this out.”

(He starts using the machine I have just finished. He is grunting as loud as he can.)

Guy: “What do you think about that?”

(Without a word, I make a show in changing the weights back to my own level, which is twice as much as his.)

Me: *mocking his grunting* “This. Is. What. I. Think. About. That.”

(He walks away defeated. My female workout partner comes up behind me.)

Partner: “You know, this is the reason you don’t seem to be popular with many guys at school. However, this is also the reason I like working out with you.”

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