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The Mailing Dead

| VA, USA | Related | October 17, 2013

(My dad passes away. My son is four years old. We explain everything to him as best we can, making sure he understands he will not see his granddad anymore. In May, we get a magazine in the mail from a subscription that my dad had purchased for him about six months prior.)

Me: “Look! You got some mail today!”

Son: “Yay! What is it?”

Me: “It is the magazine Granddaddy sends you each month!”

Son: *thinks for a minute, leans in and whispers* “Why is he still sending me magazines? I thought he was dead.”

Autocorrects Get Your Panties In A Twist

| IA, USA | Related | October 17, 2013

(My grandma is texting my uncle about setting up for an event.)

Grandma: “We’ll have thongs ready at 11.”

Uncle: “Oh you get to wear thongs; sounds like it will be a fun night.”

Grandma: “No, THINGS not thongs. We don’t need to wear thongs!”

Good Use Of Bad Language

| Sweetwater, NJ, USA | Related | October 17, 2013

(My parents are having hardwood floors put down in the house. The carpenter is hammering the floor in. I am about three years old.)

Me: *walking out of my bedroom* “What is it with all the f****** noise?”

Carpenter: *stops mid hammer swing*

Mom: “[Name]! What did you say?”

Me: “Ugh! I *said*, ‘what’s with all the f****** noise?”

(I am quickly whisked away to be explained to that some words aren’t nice to say. Years later, Mom admitted that she had actually been a little proud that I used the word correctly!)

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Cry Again, Part 2

| Estonia | Related | October 17, 2013

(I am five years old, with my parents in the check out for our items. I notice a pack of candy with a surprise dinosaur toy on the nearby shelf.)

Me: “Mom, can I have this?”

Mom: “Ask your dad.”

Me: “Dad, can I have this?”

Dad: “No.”

Me: “Please?”

Dad: “No.”

Me: “Pleeeaaase!?”

Dad: “No.”

Me: “Please. Please. Pleeeaaase!?”

Dad: “Fine, but on one condition: if you can let out a tear right now.”

Me: “Okay!”

(A single tear runs down my cheek. I get the candy with the dinosaur toy. My parents and the cashier can’t stop laughing.)

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Cry Again


| Romantic | October 17, 2013


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