(I am staying at my boyfriend’s apartment. A few hours after waking up, my boyfriend said he had a headache. We lie on the couch, him resting his head on my chest and we both end up falling asleep. It’s been a few hours. We both wake up.)

Me: “Oh my gosh, babe. What time is it?”

(I look at the clock and see that we have been asleep for roughly three and a half hours.)

Me: “I guess I fell asleep, too. How are you feeling?”

Boyfriend: “My headache is gone.” *he squeezes my left breast* “Bee boop!”

Me: “What was that for?”

Boyfriend: “Your boobs are magic. They fixed my headache!”

Me: “Oh, are they?”

Boyfriend: “Yes! Beep boop beep!” *he squeezes my right breast*

Me: “What in the world are you doing?”

Boyfriend: “I wish your boobs made sound effects. That would be so cool.”

Me: “Honey, maybe you should get some more rest.”

Boyfriend: “Only if I can sleep on your ‘bee boops.'”

Me: “My boobs?”

Boyfriend: “No. They are your ‘bee boops’ now.”

(My boyfriend lays his head back on my chest and falls asleep. Now, whenever he sees me, he always smirks and says “bee boop.” It always makes me laugh!)

(I’ve been made part time at work. Money is tight and I’m struggling a bit. I have $1.95 left in my purse.)

Me: “Hi. How much is a medium coffee with the tax? Is it less that $1.95?”

Barista: “It’s $1.84 with the tax.”

Me: “Great, I’d just have a medium then, please.”

(The barista starts to pour coffee into a medium cup, then stops.)

Barista: “You usually have large don’t you?”

Me: “Yes, but I don’t have enough money.”

Barista: “How much money do you have?”

Me: “$1.95.”

(The barista picks up a large cup. She pours the contents of the medium into the large, fills it and gives it to me.)

Barista: “Here you go!”

(It was such a little thing, but it made my whole day!)

(I work at the service desk at our store. Sometimes they have me swap out with a coworker to take care of merchandise on the floor. Today is one of those days. When my coworker arrives to switch with me, we get hit with a big line of customers. Both of us are there for nearly half an hour together. Just as the line dies down, my manager calls from outside the store to check in on things.)

Manager: “What are you still doing at the desk? You’re supposed to be over in Misses! And [Coworker] is still there too? I can’t have both of you there!”

Me: “Sorry. We had a big rush. We’re just cleaning up. Once everything’s in order we can swap.”

Manager: “Good. I need [Coworker] out on the floor to start taking care of the shoe department.”

Me: “Um, wait. If [Coworker] is going to be in shoes, who’s at the service desk?”

Manager: “You, of course!”

(This isn’t the first time my manager has implied that I can clone myself!)

(I work a summer job in a bank. An angry customer storms in and slams a card on the counter.)

Customer: “I tried to get money out of the cash machine but it won’t give me anything!”

Me: “Well, sir. It seems—”

Customer: “I’m not poor! There’s money in my account! You can check it!”

Me: “Well, sir—”

Customer: “I just want my d*** money! Give it to me!”

Me: “Sir… That’s a library card.”

(As a child, my father always tells me things, which as a child I believe without question. The ice-cream truck comes around every day during Christmas holidays, playing his music—it’s summer here during Christmas.)

Me: “Can I please get an ice-cream?”

Dad: “No, if the ice-cream truck is playing music, it means he is out of ice-cream.”

Me: “Okay, dad.”

(For years, I believe him. All of my aunties and uncles think I just don’t like ice-cream, because when I visit them, and the ice-cream truck comes around playing his music, I never ask for one! I now use this on my friend’s kids; payback is so sweet!)