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Homesick

| USA | Related | October 18, 2013

(I am video chatting with my dad while he is in Abu Dhabi for work.)

Dad: *COUGH! HACK! COUGH! COUGH!*

Me: “Are you okay?! What’s wrong with you?”

Dad: “I don’t know for sure; I haven’t been to the doctor. It’s probably walking pneumonia.” *HACK! COUGH! COUGH!*

Me: “I’m pretty sure that’s what killed Jim Henson, you know. Speaking of which, please don’t die until after you get back. It’ll be a lot harder to cross international borders as a cadaver!”

Dad: “Eh, won’t matter to me; I’ll be dead anyway. Besides, your mom will probably tell them to just leave me here!”

Herding Her Daughter Out Of The Store

| Silverdale, WA, USA | Related | October 18, 2013

(My mother and I are clothes shopping, when I notice a comic book store has opened. Being a massive geek, I have to go check it out. My mother, who is tolerant but not at all interested, follows reluctantly. Her hobby is equestrian-eventing and she always refers to the horses affectionately as ‘ponies.’ I walk into the store and immediately end up chatting with the cashier, because she is wearing a ‘Doctor Who’ t-shirt, and she has a sonic screwdriver on her belt. My mother is wandering around the store poking things for about three minutes, and then comes to stand behind me.)

Mother: *in a whisper* “I like ponies.”

(I ignore and continue chatting to the cashier.)

Mother: *a bit louder* “I like ponies.”

Me: “Okay, Mom, let me just find [issue of Doctor Who comic], and then we’ll be off.”

Mother: *following me through the shelves* “I like ponies!” *louder* “I like ponies!”

Me: “Ah here it is; let me pay and we can leave.”

Mother: *almost yelling* “I like ponies!”

(I go back and chat with the cashier, while she rings up the comic and finds the name of another series we’d talked about.)

Mother: “I LIKE PONIES! I. LIKE. PONIES!”

Cashier: *laughing uncontrollably* “I take it you’re the household geek-a-freak?”

Me: “You have no idea.”

Mother: “PO-NIES!”

Don’t Question Why

| Romantic | October 18, 2013

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Engaging The Whole Restaurant

| NV, USA | Romantic | October 18, 2013

(I am serving a table near a young man and woman. Everything is business as usual, when suddenly the young man jumps out of his chair and runs past me with his arms raised over his head.)

Man: “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!”

(People start laughing, and the woman shakes her head.)

Woman: “We just got engaged.”

Moving From Cheesy To Corny

| Laramie, WY, USA | Romantic | October 18, 2013

(My boyfriend and I are semi-cuddling in bed talking before we fall asleep. I currently have my hand resting on his stomach, since it’s too warm to actually cuddle. Suddenly my boyfriend’s stomach rumbles to the point where it actually wakes me back up to full alertness.)

Me: “Whoa… what was that?”

Boyfriend: “It had a whole speech prepared… ‘You can take our nachos, but you can never take our cheese! Because it’s NACHO CHEESE!'”

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