(In my country, high import taxes mean that all computer stuff costs much more than abroad. I’ve wanted a laptop for a long while, but those were always slightly out of my financial reach. Then, a particular store decides to sell laptops that are exactly the right balance between low price and acceptable performance. Their ad mentions ‘available in-store right now.’ I decide to pick up one. I show up at the store on July 15th.)

Me: “Excuse me, I’m here to get a [laptop model mentioned in their ad].”

Employee #1: “Oh, we don’t carry those. I don’t think we ever did.”

Me: “Uh… your ad in today’s newspaper says you do. Actually, it says you started selling those last week.”

Employee #1: “Uh? I wasn’t aware of that. Let me check…”

(He leaves for one minute, and directs me to his colleague.)

Employee #2: “I’m sorry, sir. We have a small problem with dim-witted employees. We do indeed carry this model, but it’s not available in-store. You have to pay a ten per cent deposit, and then come to pick it up here at the store on July 31st.”

Me: “That’s not what your ad says.”

Employee #2: “We also have a problem with over-enthusiastic advertisers, sir.”

Me: “And you don’t do home delivery.”

Employee #2: “No, sir. Only in-store pickups.”

(I’m a bit put-off by having to wait over two weeks for my laptop, but I still decide to go along and pay the required deposit. After all, the store is widely-known and I haven’t heard anything bad about them. On July 29th, I get a call.)

Employee #3: “I’m sorry, but we have a small problem. Apparently, your laptop wasn’t included in the wares we received today. I’m afraid you can’t get it until August 8th after all.”

Me: “Um… okay, then.”

(I’m annoyed, but don’t say anything. On August 8th, I show up at the store as expected.)”

Me: “Hi. I’m here to pick up my [laptop model].”

Employee #4: “Uh? Why are you showing up now? This model isn’t supposed to be available until next week.”

Me: “One of you told me to come today. And, if you’ll check my order, you’ll notice that you’re already over a week late for delivery.”

Employee #4: *checks the order* “Oh… right. Well, they were mistaken. We don’t actually expect to receive that model until August 16th. You’ll have to come back then. Sorry for the delay.”

(I’m starting to lose patience, but I don’t want to be ‘that customer,’ so I stay polite and agree to come back the following week. I go back on August 16th.)

Me: “Hi. Is my [laptop model] available yet?”

Employee #5: “That model isn’t supposed to be available until the end of this month, sir.”

Me: “You’re joking, right?”

Employee #5: “Afraid not, sir. What’s the pickup date listed on your order?”

Me: “July 31st. Then August 8th. Then August 16th. You guys keep delaying it! You can’t have me wait for another two weeks and pretend that everything’s normal!”

Employee #5: “Oh. If you cannot wait, sir, we’ve had [different laptop model] available in-store for weeks now. It’s more expensive than the model you ordered, though.”

Me: “Which is why I didn’t get it to begin with. Well, forget it. If you’re not going to give me a laptop today, for the price I was ready to pay, just give me back the money I already gave you and cancel my order.”

(To their credit, they only negotiate for another 10 minutes before refunding me in full. I go out and find another store that allows me to get a better laptop, for an actually lower price, even if it takes another four days to get it. I promise to never shop at the first store again if I can avoid it. Fast forward to September 2nd, when my phone rings while I’m at work.)

Employee #2: “Hello, Mr. [Name]? The [laptop model] is available in store now. You can come to our store anytime to pick up yours!”

Me: “Now you’re just f****** with me.”

(My aunt and I are at a craft store buying fabric. She checks out without incident, and I am helped by the same cashier immediately after her.)

Cashier: “Your total is $20.97.”

(I hand the cashier $21, and she gives me twelve cents back, instead of the three cents I should have received. Confused, I look at the small screen on the credit card machine which shows that the total is $20.97 before tax and $22.12 after tax.)

Me: “Oh, I haven’t given you enough money. Take these 12 cents back, and here’s $2. That makes $23 that I’ve given you.”

(I put out my hand to give her the $2 and take the change, but she just stares at me.)

Cashier: “But you gave me $22.”

Me: “No, I gave you $21, and now I’m giving you $2 more, so you owe me 88 cents in change.”

Cashier: “But you gave me $22. The total was $22.12 and you gave me $22, so I gave you 12 cents.”

(My aunt steps in and takes the $2 from my hand, and gives the cashier $1.12, meaning the cashier does not owe us any change.)

Aunt: “Here, take this. Now you don’t owe us anything. Your drawer will be correct when you count it.”

Cashier: “But, you gave me $22, and I gave you twelve cents!”

Me: “Trust me, it’s all correct now. Just give me the receipt please.”

(The cashier reluctantly gives me the receipt. We turn to leave.)

Cashier: “Wait! You gave me 12 cents!”

(I work as a receptionist for a financial management firm, where I am in charge of answering phones and transferring the callers to the right person.)

Me: “Good morning, you’re through to [firm name]; how may I help you?”

Caller: “Is this 1-800-Flowers?”

Me: “I’m afraid you have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Are you sure?”

Me: “I’m sorry; this number isn’t even 1-800.”

Caller: “Oh, do you have the number for 1-800-Flowers?”

(I am working the box office with my manager. A large group of teenage girls dressed like they are going to a club get their turn to purchase tickets.)

Manager: “Make sure you ID them, and let them know if they sneak in, they won’t get a refund.”

(I acknowledge the manager’s comment, and turn to the teenage girls.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [theater]; how may I help you?”

Girl #1: “Can we have tickets to see [R-rated movie]?”

Me: “Do you guys have ID?”

Girl #1: “No.”

Me: “Then I am afraid I can’t sell you the tickets. It’s company policy that you have proper ID to see R-rated movies.”

(The girls walk away angry. They come back a few minutes later after waiting in line again.)

Girl #1: “Can we have tickets to see [G-rated movie]?”

Me: “Sure, your total will be $32. If you try to sneak into the movie you wanted before this one, you will not get a refund. Here are your tickets, enjoy!”

Girl #2: “Why does everyone think we are trying to sneak into a d*** R-rated movie?!”

Girl #3: “I don’t know, but it’s getting really ANNOYING!”

(Not even ten minutes later, the girls come storming out of the theater and toss their tickets up on the counter.)

Girl #3: “We need refunds for this movie.”

Me: “Why do you need a refund for this movie?”

Girl #3: “Because, it already started.”

Me: “Actually, this movie doesn’t start for another ten minutes.”

Girl #3: “Well, I, uh…”

Me: “So why do you need a refund?”

Girl #3: “Because the cop wouldn’t let us in the movie!”

Me: “You mean the cop that is standing by the auditoriums that have the R-rated movies, that are on the complete opposite side of the theater that has the movie you bought tickets for?”

(All four girls give dumbfounded looks.)

Me: “I am sorry; I can’t give you a refund.”

(The girls start making a scene. My manager walks over.)

Manager: “Listen, my employee did her job. She told you she wasn’t going to give you a refund if you tried to sneak into a movie, and you did exactly what she told you not to do. Now, you have two options: you can leave the theater and take your attitudes elsewhere, or I can call the cops and have them remove you from the premises. Which will it be?”

(The girls turn and storm off.)

(I work at a walk-in medical clinic located in a shopping center. It is about 20 minutes before closing and as a result, it’s only the doctor and I working. A man walks in complaining of chest pain, and goes into full cardiac arrest. I am in the back assisting the doctor for approximately ten minutes as he stabilizes the patient and the paramedics arrive. Once the paramedics take over, I head for the front desk. There is a patient waiting.)

Patient: “About d*** time! I have been waiting for five minutes!”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. We had a patient in full cardiac arrest and the doctor required my assistance.”

Patient: “That’s no excuse for bad service. I shouldn’t have had to wait that long. Now, I want to see a doctor.”

Me: “Unfortunately, the doctor will be leaving with the patient and paramedics to go to the hospital. We have to close a few minutes early.”

Patient: “This is ridiculous. I have a sore throat and I need to see a doctor. I demand I be seen before the doctor leaves. Whoever else can wait; I am leaving on a trip tomorrow, and must be seen today.”

Me: “Ma’am, emergencies take precedence. A heart attack beats a sore throat. You either have to come back tomorrow, or seek care elsewhere.”

Patient: “I don’t care about your excuses! I am a busy, important person, and need to see a doctor now!”

(I have lost all patience. I am about to throw her out, when the paramedics start wheeling out the cardiac-arrest patient on the gurney, followed by the doctor.)

Patient: *still yelling* “There, the doctor is right there. He can see me before he takes care of that lazy guy!”

Doctor: “Tell you what: have a heart attack right now, and I will be happy to assist you. Otherwise, get your insensitive a** out of my clinic and don’t ever come back.”

(The customer storms out, but actually tries to come back the next day. She is refused. The man makes a full recovery and sends flowers, gift cards and thoughtful notes to both the doctor and me for the help.)