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Their Brains Are In Neutral

| Madison, WI, USA | Learning | October 20, 2013

(Two freshmen are walking along the sidewalk at the university, when they notice there is a car in their way.)

Freshman #1: “Dude, there’s a car on the sidewalk; what the f***?”

Freshman #2: “Whoa. That’s just crazy. Seriously, you’d only see that in Madison.”

Freshman #1: “Right? I’ve never seen anything like it.”

(The car was parked in a driveway.)

Convicted By His Convictions

| Right | October 19, 2013

Not Quite Seasoned With The Omelet Station

, | Nashville, TN, USA | Right | October 19, 2013

(I work for a hotel with a complimentary breakfast that includes a made-to-order omelet station. I am making the omelets in plain sight of the customers, with all of my ingredients on display. A customer walks up and ignores a sign with ingredients listed and bowls on display, full of veggies.)

Customer: “I want an omelet with all the vegetables.”

Me: “Okay, all of the vegetables including the ja—”

Customer: *cuts me off* “YES! All of them.”

Me: “Okay, because we have—”

Customer: *walks off*

(I make an omelet with all of the vegetables, and call it out when it’s done. She comes and picks it up and walks off with out a word. About two minutes later, she comes back. Her face is red, and there are tears running down her face.)

Customer: “I didn’t realize you had jalapeños!”

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Gloss Over The Facts

| IN, USA | Right | October 19, 2013

(I’m on a phone with a customer. I’ve just finished going through all the print sizes, finishes, and prices.)

Customer: “I’m going to send some 8x10s through the internet; how much will they be?”

Me: “They are $3.99.”

Customer: “What finish are your 8×10 prints?”

Me: “They are glossy.”

Customer: “But I need a matte finish.”

Me: “The machine that prints 8x10s can print a glossy finish. You can always go to [location]; they only have the matte finish.”

Customer: “But I want to order them here!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but our machine is unable to print matte photos.”

Customer: “Can you try?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that machine only prints a glossy finish.”

Customer: “Yes, but can you try?”

Me: “We do not have the ability to print photos with a matte finish. We can only make glossy prints.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you won’t try! You w****!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the w**** who runs the machine is unwilling to talk in circles. Good day!” *click*

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Giving Bad Managers A Pizza Your Mind, Part 2

| Working | October 19, 2013

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