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Top 5 Funny Fall-Themed Stories

Not Always Right | Right | October 20, 2013

Weekly Roundup: Top 5 Funny Fall-Themed Stories! In this week’s roundup, we share five funny seasonal stories about fall/autumn!

  1. A Good Chance Of A Falling Out (4,082 thumbs up)
  2. A Pal-Tree Understanding Of Plants (2,171 thumbs up)
  3. Window Pains (1,106 thumbs up)
  4. Someone’s Been Pumpkin At The Gym (1,505 thumbs up)
  5. Happy PTLBOTT Day! (2,715 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Pen-ding Emergency

| Canada | Right | October 20, 2013

(I work at a call center for an oil and gas company.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] emergency line. Are you reporting an emergency?”

Caller: “Yes, very urgent.”

Me: “Alright, I’ll just need to gather some details in case we are disconnected. May I please have your first and last name?”

Caller: *angry* “You don’t need my name!”

Me: “Not a problem; may I please have your telephone number with area code?”

Caller: “No! You don’t need that either. Just f****** help me!”

Me: “Alright, ma’am, what is nature of the emergency?”

Caller: “My pen broke. I need a new one right now.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; this is an oil and gas emergency line. We’d be unable to assist with getting you a new pen.”

Caller: “No, f*** you! You gave me this pen last week and it broke already. How am I supposed to play with my cat now?”

Me: “I’m sorry; this is an emergency line. I can provide you the main office number where they may be able to locate you a new pen.”

Caller: “Are you serious? I can’t play with my cat and you don’t think this is an emergency?”

Me: “No, ma’am, this issue would not be considered an emergency.”

Caller: “Well f*** you then. I hope you’re happy; you’ve killed my cat!” *slams down the receiver*

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That Kind Of Behavior Is Just Not Cricket

| London, England, UK | Right | October 20, 2013

(I’m standing in line at a corner shop. The customer at the till is a typical 40-something skinhead, wearing an England football shirt. He’s harassing the cashier because of the difference between the display price of a packet of cigarettes, and what he’s being charged.)

Customer: “THIS IS F****** RIDICULOUS! IT’S ILLEGAL!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir, but due to the changes in taxes, we’ve had to increase the price. We haven’t had time to change the signs yet.”

Customer: “THAT’S BULLSHIT! YOU’RE NOT FROM HERE! WHERE ARE YOU FROM?!”

(The cashier isn’t ethnically British, but he’s been working at the store for a few years now and is a pretty decent guy.)

Cashier: “That doesn’t matter, sir. Could you just pay for your items?”

Customer: “I SAID WHERE ARE YOU FROM?!”

Cashier: *rolling his eyes* “Sri Lanka.”

(The customer tries to think of an insult using the tiny amount of brainpower not given over to alcohol and rage.)

Customer: “…yeah … well your cricket team is s***!”

(The customer then storms off after paying for the cigarettes. I go up to the register.)

Me: “Didn’t Sri Lanka just win the Cricket World Cup?”

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Top 5 Funny Fall-Themed Stories

, | Not Always Right | Right | October 20, 2013

Weekly Roundup: Top 5 Funny Fall-Themed Stories! In this week’s roundup, we share five funny seasonal stories about fall/autumn!

  1. A Good Chance Of A Falling Out (4,082 thumbs up)
  2. A Pal-Tree Understanding Of Plants (2,171 thumbs up)
  3. Window Pains (1,106 thumbs up)
  4. Someone’s Been Pumpkin At The Gym (1,505 thumbs up)
  5. Happy PTLBOTT Day! (2,715 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

In Charge And In Full Charge

| IN, USA | Working | October 20, 2013

(I am working night shift with two janitors on duty. One is asking me questions about the energy ‘supplements’ kept behind the counter. The janitors wear green uniforms.)

Janitor: “So what do most people buy?”

Me: “Most people buy [brand].”

Janitor: “Okay, let me try those.”

(About 20 minutes pass.)

Janitor: “Hey. Let me get one of those little liquid drinks.”

Me: “Really?!”

Janitor: “Yeah, these pills aren’t kicking in.”

(Another 20 minutes later, he comes up with an energy drink from the cooler. Finally things start to kick in and he gets everything cleaned, swept, and mopped in less than an hour while the other janitor and I stand and watch.)

Me: “I have no clue how his heart is still beating.”

Janitor #2: “Yeah, all I saw was a green blur!”

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