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A Fine Line

| Romantic | October 21, 2013

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The Wrong Right Answer

| TX, USA | Learning | October 21, 2013

(I have recently graduated from college and have been sent back to the area for work, so I visit a former professor and good friend of mine. I was notorious for giving her a hard time in class by joking around while still being ‘right.’ She’s asked me to talk to one of her classes that take everything too seriously about the ‘real world.’ It is a while into the talk…)

Student #1: “So [Professor] tells us that you were a major a** while you were a student.”

Student #2: “YOU IDIOT! YOU DON’T SAY THAT!”

Professor: “Oh, don’t worry; he knows it. He’s quite proud of it.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s not news. When I graduated I even gave her a note saying ‘Sorry for being such a smart-a**.'”

Student #1: “How do you be a smart-a** in discrete algebra? It’s all straight forward logic!”

Me: “If you want to become a good developer, you need to learn how to be flexible. Think with the same logic, get the same outcome, but do it a different way. For instance: you have two piles of matches, each with the same amount of matches, and you could only take matches from a single pile. Then I would be given the chance to do the same; how do you guarantee that you get the last match?”

(The entire class tells me the ‘right answer,’ which is to go second and to copy everything I do, but on the second pile.)

Me: “That’s one way. I took all the matches from a pile and set the other one on fire.”

Professor: “And that’s why this smart-a** has a job while the rest of his class is still looking for one.”

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Very Soft-ware

| Lock Haven, PA, USA | Learning | October 21, 2013

(A student walks in to our shop. It’s part of an assignment for a class for the students to gather information about different university services.)

Student: “And what are the top three services that you provide?”

Technician: “Probably getting onto the campuses network, hardware replacement, and virus/malware removal.”

Student: “Okay, hardware… and how do you spell… malware?”

Technician: “M-A-L-W-A-R-E.”

Student: “And you replace that for people?”

Technician: “No, we perform virus and malware removal.”

Student: “Yeah, so getting on the network, removing hardware and virus replacement, got it. Thanks.” *walks out*

Technician: *speechless*

Explaining The Gravity Of The Situation

| Jacksonville, FL, USA | Learning | October 21, 2013

(On the first day of my 10th grade physics class, the teacher is giving us a rundown of our course material and his style of teaching. At one point he holds something up high in his hand.)

Teacher: “Which way does gravity go?”

(We all look at each other, suspecting a trick question.)

A Few Students: “Down?”

(The teacher drops what’s in his hand, which turns out to be a metal weight. It hits the black lab table with a very loud BANG! Everyone is startled and now alert. He raises the weight again.)

Teacher: “Which way does gravity go?”

Most Of The Class: “Down?”

(He drops the weight again with another BANG!)

Teacher: “WHICH way does gravity go?”

Whole Class: “DOWN!”

(He drops the weight again anyway.)

Teacher: “Excellent! Now I know sometimes it’s hard to stay focused in class, but if I ever catch a student falling asleep at their table, they’re going to get a reminder in the lesson of gravity! Got it?”

Dropout Factories

| Learning | October 21, 2013

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