(I am working my very first shift at a new job. The coworker training me has stepped out to make a call. A middle-aged customer comes up to the counter looking cross. As he does a young woman comes through the door and sees him.)
Young Woman: “Oh, no! Oh, no, no, no! No you don’t!”
(The man turns around to face her in shock.)
Young Woman: “Not a chance! You came in here every single day for a year just to bully and ridicule me! You made me wait on you hand and foot, and complained the whole time, and you’ve yet to actually buy anything! Every day that you came in here—and made my life h***—I went home and cried! You are nothing but a mean, pathetic loser, and I’ll be d***** if I let you treat this poor girl the way you treated me!”
Customer: “EXCUSE ME? YOU WILL BE FIRED FOR THIS YOU WORTHLESS B****!”
Young Woman: “Nope, not this time a**-hole! I don’t work here anymore. I got into college. I’m going to make something of myself. Now you go back to your sad angry little life, and don’t you dare harass anyone who works here again!”
(The man turns red, but leaves. The woman comes up to the counter smiling brightly.)
Young Woman: “Hey, you must be the new girl! I used to work here; just dropped by to pick up my last pay-check.”
(She notices my shocked expression.)
Young Woman: “I’ve been bottling that up for a long time. He shouldn’t bother you again.”
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(I work at a small kiosk in a mall. Due to the booth-like appearance and the lack of any walls, many shoppers like to ask me for directions to other businesses in the mall.)
Shopper: “Hey, where’s the post office?”
Me: “Right behind you; there is a camera store—”
Shopper: “No! I want the post office, not photos!”
Me: “Like I said, there’s a camera store behind y—”
Shopper: “Shut up about the d*** cameras! I need the nearest post office!”
Me: “And if you would just take an extra few seconds to listen to me, I would’ve been able to inform you that there is a postal service desk inside of the camera store.”
Shopper: “Hey, it’s not my fault you weren’t being clear! Also, that’s no way to talk to a paying customer!”
Me: “With all due respect, ma’am; you haven’t bought anything from me. You’re not a paying customer. Secondly, I am running a business here, not an information booth. I personally think you are a greater target for criticism; you’re lucky I went lightly. Now, unless you plan on buying something; please let me do my real job.”
Client: “Can you make these messages go away?”
Me: “Which messages are those, sir?”
Client: “The ones I get when I run backups.”
Me: “Ah. What do they say?”
(He reads out the error messages.)
Me: “Uh, sir, how long have you been getting these errors for?”
Client: “Since your software was installed last year. Why?”
Me: “And did you report this earlier, sir?”
Client: “No, but they’re really starting to bug me. How do I make them go away?”
Me: “Sir, you do realise that ‘Backup Failed [error code], contact [supplier]‘ means you have no backups of your entire financial system?”
Client: “What the h*** does that matter? I’m sick of having to hit ENTER all the time! Just tell me how to get rid of these stupid messages!”