Archive for 2013

Jump to page:

She Should Give Him The Boot(Cut), Part 2

| Rochester, NY, USA | Romantic | October 22, 2013

Boyfriend: “What should we do tonight?”

Me: “Well, you could take me out to eat, like a real gentleman!”

Boyfriend: “I could, but then I’d have to put on pants.”

Related:
She Should Give Him The Boot(Cut)

Putting The Undying Into Undying Love

| MN, USA | Romantic | October 22, 2013

Me: “Hey sweetheart, I’m reading this article, and it has some good points about why the zombie apocalypse isn’t something we need to worry about.”

Husband: “Really? Why’s that?”

Me: “Because of the weather here! Zombies would freeze in the winter since they don’t have any blood circulation! Plus, the National Guard is right near here, so they could shoot the zombies down.”

Husband: “I love you.”

Me: “I love you, too!”

Husband: “I’m so glad you’re aware of the zombie threat and are looking ahead to our options.”

End Of A Relationship

| Romantic | October 22, 2013

End-of-relationship

The Learning Dead

| LA, USA | Learning | October 22, 2013

(I am the teacher. My class is discussing the current government shut down, and I am reading a list of services that will be affected.)

Me: “The Centers for Disease Control will stop offering certain services.”

Student #1: “What? What are we supposed to do if there’s a zombie attack?”

Student #2: “The doors in this school are pretty thick. We could probably hold them off for a while.”

Student #3: “Is there anything in here we can use as a weapon?”

Me: “I love you guys.”

1 Thumbs
1,013
VOTES

Day Two, Girl Two, Number Two

| OR, USA | Learning | October 22, 2013

(I’m a TA for a young class. The teacher assigns the students weekly ‘class jobs.’ It’s the first day of the year.)

Teacher: “And the job for cleaning the rabbit’s cage is [Girl #1]! It’s a big job, so if you want to pick a helper for the week, you can.”

Girl #1: “Can I pick [Girl #2]?”

Teacher: “Yes, that’s fine.”

(At recess, the teacher shows the girls how to clean the cage; it takes them all of recess. The next morning, Girl #2 is the first one in the door and she heads right for the cage.)

Girl #2: “Oh, no! You mean he poops EVERY DAY?!”

Page 334/1,565First...332333334335336...Last
« Previous
Next »