Me: *to customers* “Have a wonderful day!”

(The customers leave, and manager walks over.)

Manager: “Umm… you’re always supposed to tell the customers to have a great day.”

Me: “What did I say?”

Manager: “You said have a wonderful day.”

Me: “Isn’t that the same thing?”

Manager: “No, corporate has specifically asked that we say have a great day. That way we all wish them the same thing.”

(A group of young kids comes into the store. One of them is running around, asking questions without paying attention to the answers, being messy, and generally being annoying. Also, the store is going to be shut down in a few weeks, which has understandably left all of us on edge.)

Polite Kid: “I’d like this one, please.”

Me: “Sure! That’ll be—”

Rude Kid: “My friend wants this one!” *shoves another game and gift card into my face*

Me: “Did you want to do this in the same transaction as this friend, or a different one?”

Rude Kid: “Different one!”

Me: “Then you’re going to have to wait.”

Rude Kid: *turns to friend* “Oh, hear that? You gotta wait.”

(I finish the transactions, and watch the kids mess around in the store.)

Rude Kid: “Yeah, so, we’ll have to come back tomorrow. I’ll be loaded up again by then; I’m getting $20!”

(The group starts to leave. Another customer comes in and approaches me.)

Customer: “Hey, I wanted to let you know those bikes are blocking the door.”

(I nod to the customer and turn to the kids who are heading for the door.)

Me: “Hey, just so you know; next time you can’t leave your bikes there.”

Rude Kid: “Not like it matters, since you’ll be shut down soon anyway.”

Me: “Next time, we won’t sell you anything if you leave those bikes there. Use the bike rack, or don’t come in again.”

(The rude kid finally shuts up and leaves quickly.)

(I’ve started working two jobs, so my sleep schedule is severely affected. On this particular Sunday morning, I end up getting to bed around 3 am. At around 8 am, I hear my fiancée talking to our three-year-old son in the next room.)

Fiancée: “No sweetie, no drums until Daddy wakes up.”

Son: “Okay.”

(Two minutes later, I hear the distinct sound of his toy trumpet instead.)

Fiancée: “No sweetie… no trumpet either okay? No noise until Daddy wakes up.”

Son: “Okay.”

(I silently give thanks and start to doze back off… and then my fiancée starts shredding papers.)

(I bring four canvas bags to the checkout, and the cashier hands all of them to the bagger. I have fewer items in my cart than usual on this trip. As he’s finishing, the bagger stops and is visibly agitated.)

Bagger: “You have too many bags, sir.”

Me: “What?”

(His frustration turns to anger.)

Bagger: “You have TOO MANY BAGS! You don’t NEED THIS MANY BAGS!”

(He stops and looks as if he’s expecting a response.)

Me: “…okay.”

Bagger: “WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO HERE?”

(I snatch the two extra bags from him and head for the exit. He shouts after me.)

Bagger: “YOU HAVE TOO MANY BAGS!”

(I am working in the drive-thru window. I am talking to a customer and we both notice a group of four young teens WALKING down the drive-thru lane.)

Customer: *laughs* “Don’t you love how silly kids are? Well, good night!”

(The customer leaves, and the teens approach the drive-thru window.)

Teen: “Yea, hi. I want to order.”

Me: “Yea, sorry. Unfortunately I can’t serve you here unless you are in a car. You are welcome to come inside though.”

Teen: “What are you talking about? We are in a car, see! I’m the driver holding the wheel.” *holds imaginary wheel* “And my passengers!” *points at his three friends*

Me: “Sorry, but unless you can crash your car and dent my wall. I can’t serve you here.”

Teen: “Okay!” *makes screeching noises* “CRASH!”